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Rachel Riley (thread deleted)
www.orangutan.org.uk
Any information on where to get the suicide/
euthanasia pill welcomed.
wanky.celebs@googlemail.com
I just had enough of life.
Special.
Staying Safe (Internet).
Safari
Strike-element?
Today it was all about staying
safe on the Internet, on NewsRound.
Now, just to add..
You should really be suspicious/become
worried when a guy says
-Yeah I know..
-I understand you!
-Trust me, I know what I’m doing!..
The other day Iain & Hacker and a couple
things I did not catch fully.
Some word, as in – asking someone to
marry him*, and Hacker apparently
confusing Sonali with someone else.
*In my case that would be someone special.
I know how I’d ask her, it’s just..
Her place or mine?
A bit risky to show a fellow
championship contender on NewsRound but,
Helen is halfway.
Already a place in the record books, that
versatile Skiltonnes.
<sopredictableandnotfunnyatall<Was that the presenter of Question Time
on the ONE Show?</sopredictableandnotfunnyatall<
Amanda Houston caused a bit of a..
Problem?
I had planned for Isobel.
To: Melinda
From: Wankers Anonymous Randy
Dear Melinda,
I just had a lovely wank over you
and, believe me, no making fun of
your red top name;
I just genuinely wanted to let you know
personally, hence this message.
You now have 1 point in your ‘account’.
wankablecelebs.wordpress.com/wank-rank/#melindamessenger
Cheers Thanxxx,
Randy
Sonali on Thursday giving away
that she’s doing a course in
sign languague.
That’s Pompey’s FOURTH! owner!
The thumb held that way means th,
like in 4th.
Rachel Mackley losing out to Becky
Jago in red.
No, that’s not a spelling mistake.
She’d not do that for a kazillion!
Not even for charity to help
you to get them Out & About!
How do you mean you have your own
way for that anyway? ..
I suggested you’.. you could sponsor her
now you still can – she hasn’t reached that
magic (ahem) Century.
You’d rather sponsor her once she gets
her one hundredth?
I’d better hurry then!
Now.. if knocking it out over Becky
helps you making a donation, what’s that
called?
<boring!>Gift Aid.. ?</boring!>
Susannah praying on live tv/breakfast, that
plleeeaasse let Him him notice
my red top!
Prayer heard, apparently.
And me thinking God was busy..
She prayed to get 4 actually!
In which case – Sorry Susannah Please forgive
me Father.
Also, could You get that Sign Interpreter back on
the telly, and have them show her
name on the screen!?!
Thank You in Amen advance,
Amen.
So there I was on Sunday.
Going all the way, so to
speak.
The middle pages alone were
worth the 40p.
As if the pictures weren’t
enough, the text mentioned
sex kitten, prancing & underwear
and coming up.
It was prancing in my underwear
just looking at those pics!
I should’ve used a sock.
Should have.
Being Wise after the event.
Oh well, you have to learn some way
as they say, and I learnt that
a) It feels good and
b) It had dried up by next morning.
Apparently Kirsten O’Brien has remarked
something about a sock coming in handy…
Hmmm… Since it dries up anyway…
Erm… Oh! I see.
It comes in handy when you’re not
home alone!(?)
This was soon to be the case, as I repeated
on Monday, after finishing my home work.
By this time it was already February, making
Rochelle Wiseman the only girl I had a wank over
in January.
She won January 2010 by 1 point.
January 2010:
31 January
1 Rochelle Wiseman 1
She added another on Tuesday, to get a
hattrick.
Yesterday a second girl made it to the list,
as I Bamzookied Gemma Mia Hunt.
February
1 February
1 Rochelle Wiseman 2
2 February
1 Rochelle Wiseman 3
3 February
1 Rochelle Wiseman 3
2 Gemma Hunt 1
Sock # 1 (3)
Rochelle Wiseman 2
Gemma Hunt 1
Rochelle Wiseman
Hattrick in 3 days + 4½ hours
Today we hyp-not-ise Christine.
Yep.
That ONE.
Very boring that, I know, but
today it helps us quite a lot,
as Christine Bleakley gets
zzzleepy very eazzzy..
Now, Christine..
You need to go.
You reeaaally need to go.
And not only for a #1.
Noo!
You need a #2 ass well.
But.. It’s not a #2 to you.
No..
You think that you’re giving birth!
Yess.. that’s it, Christine.
Press.
Come on, audience, give her some encouragement.
Push Christine, push..
There it is..
Go on..
That’s it, Christine..
Nearly halfway..
Yesss.. Good lass..
(Heil Hitler Plop!)
Well done Christine!
Oh yeah..
It’s a decent sized firm log.
6 inches, 489 grammes.
Congrats.
Sonali yesterday said/promissed
that she’d be doing the early
editions.
It was true!
So a very Gooding start
to this Truesday!
Being open minded to
criticism.. Mrs Dent, I stand to be corrected
if that is spelled incorrectly.
I have started to add some categories
and reviewing posts.
Note the Dated category.
Some posts are too dated.
I might refer to what a particular
celeb was wearing or other stuff that
might only be of any significance if
you’ve seen it on that day.
I also try to correct spelling mistakes
if I sport any.
(Returning visitors know that was intentional)
I might make other corrections,
as Ellie Crisell is wankable and
certainly not wanky!
In other celebrity spotting, it seemed
as if Louisa Preston was close to
tears.
Someone might have had her in stitches
just before she had to read the news.
Else
{ Our thoughts are with ya }
.
An automattically generated link
brought me to peterreynolds.wordpress.com,
where it said:
Rizla Thief!
Riz Lateef is on now, by the way.
(please push for the championship this year)
Really good choice of ‘livery’ -
If she’d be wearing that on the 10
edition, I shall be prepared.
Some smutty mouth posted on a Riz Lateef
dedicated page her to be a swinger!
Disgusting that.
It also said she was a muslim.
Well, that proves it to be untrue.
The question is which one
Swinger + Muslim = ?
It doesn’t add up.
Although it’d Xplain how she got herself
onto national telly
Although if she IS a Muslim, she’d be
the most sexy, lust-awakening one!
And.. Riz Lateef a swinger?
How booty-ful would that be!
Although..
It might be hard, to decide what side
you’d be on.
Pushing her or.. view upskirt..
Doh!
Pushing her would mean you’d get to
touch her!
And.. you’d always be there if the rope
breaks!
Where does it hurt Riz?
Shall I kiss you there?
(Riz: Oi!)
Unfortunately, the rope was strong enough.
It’s only us, wankers, that break when Riz is on..
*Christine chose today! to wear red.
It’s OK – She aopologised!
(This is a perfect example of being dated)
On 901 points Higgins had
potted 109 reds, according
to my ballculator.
Denise Higgins got the last
point though.
I just hàd to make the effort.
The title has nothing to do with
the Welsh Open.
If I’d get 517 views today, It’d be
the best month ever.
It’s amazing really, since the best month
- May lass year – had 2 days with more than
a thousand views (The World’s Final).
It was a great final IMHO.
John Higgins conceding that Ali Carter
had a bit of misfortune at crucial balls.
Very wellsh played though
as well.
Just catching Wendy Hùrrell and
Sarah Cruddass.
There’s too many good looking celebs.
How about a rotation system like in football?
Lisa Gallagher, insultingly.. degradingly..
too low on my rank was the reason to put
BBC Yorks & Lincs in the favourites in
the first place.
January 2010
Helen Skelton 6
Leah Gooding 5
Sonali Gudka 5
Hayley Cutts 5
Susannah Reid 5
Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes 4
Amanda Houston 3
Hazel Irvine 3
Louise Redknapp 3
Isobel Lang 3
Laura Tobin 3
Becky Jago 2
Natalie Staniforth 2
Michaela Tabb 2
Ellie Crisell 2
Rachel Riley 2
Susie Dent 2
Lucy Verasamy 2
Kirsten O’Brien 2
Lisa Gallagher 1
Louise Hubball 1
Mishal Husein 1
Louisa Preston 1
Linda de Win 1
Ronni Ancona 1
Rachel Mackley 1
Carol Kirkwood 1
Liesbeth Staats 1
Mathilda Ziegler 1
Francesca Gonshaw 1
Kim Hartman 1
Kate Humble 1
Kay Foley 1
Vicky Layton 1
Sian Williams 1 (BBC’s 2010th)
Christine Bleakley 1
Helen Willets 1
Cat Deeley 1
Naga Munchetti 1
Siobhan Robbins 1
Denise Higgins 1
The final:
Higgins:
Points: 977
Reds: 119
Yellows: 12
Greens: 9
Browns: 8
Blues: 22
Pinks: 28
Blacks: 70
Carter:
Points: 507
Reds: 68
Yellows: 2
Greens: 2
Browns: 3
Blues: 10
Pinks: 9
Blacks: 40
Thankx!
Source: Ballculator
(Mistake s: me)
Welsh Open
semi O’Sullivan v Higgins
O’Sullivan:
Points: 402
Reds: 51
Yellows: 3
Greens: 3
Browns: 3
Blues: 15
Pinks: 11
Blacks: 25
Higgins:
Points: 606
Reds: 85
Yellows: 5
Greens: 6
Browns: 6
Blues: 25
Pinks: 11
Blacks: 36
First name: John
Note: that’s 402 points for
O’Sullivan.
Read backwards that’s 204,
which is exactly the difference
in points.
Wordologist S Dent might know if there’s
a word for it.
Is it coincidence?
In other stats Kirst got another 2,
rounding @ ‘80..
Sorry, 80.
Without the ‘, as in the substitute
for 19, as they tended to do in the last
century.
The year she was born must have crossed my
mind when I typed that.
She’s way too low on my rank that Top Lass, who
commented on an old sock that <quote>You
never know when that might come in handy…</quote>.(..)
The other day I thought the same, when spotting a
pad.
Girls must be filthy rich with all them pads they
can call their own..
No, filthy rich is exactly what I meant
you pervert!
My latest bet is that looaaadds of people(?) have
complained to the BBC about Helen Skelton’s
performance on Blue Peter.
I just bit my lip and channeled my disaprovements
with a double over Kirsten.
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