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I thought of giving this post either
ALLMIGHTY or
ALLKNOWING as
a title.
I couldn’t really decide and having both
in the title.. A no-no.
So, I thought of..
Periods.
Of ALL WAYS possible He
had to Choose this way.
Had He sent His Daughter, she’d pointed it
out.
Father, that was a Mistake!
Enlighten Me, Daughter.
Should it have been annually?
Hell no! Ya’d not feel v feminine if it
was only yearly…
No, she was thinking of different ways.
He thought of that, He answered, but
the phrase ‘laying an egg’ had already been
reserved.
Ahem… Did He not think that, since everything the body don’t need goes
either that way or that way, that could also go
that way!?
Ooops…
Now, to God’s defence – the fact that God
knows everything, doesn’t necessarily mean
He thinks of everything!
Or He would have given the lasses an extra tongue, so they needn’t wipe with Sand Paper.
He gave them the dab option though!
And another thing.
Why matrass-size?
He must have thought – Oh well (not!), since yer gonna spend most of that time in bed anyways…
And why at 10? (or younger even)
Surely God doesn’t expect them getting
pregnant at such a young age?
As an aside – God knew most children
wouldn’t be told about the birds and the
bees, so He created a way to have them
find out themselves.
If He had then gone on to think of a girls
equivalent, surely He’d have thought – Hmmm… and that daily?!
He’d have put on some music, He’d just
created, and he found Status Quo were also wondering -
Is there a better way?
And that’s how you girls ended up peeing it out, instead of being p’d off with…
Whoever created it His way.
Time of the month and time… again.
And again…
But, of course, God only had a Sonali
Sonali, who I first thought to
be the cause of it, mentioned
the hot weather.
You can not not have noticed the
hot weather..
Erm.. :embarrased: I thought all
that sweating was because of all
the w*nking.
I don’t know what’s hotter.
The weather or Sonali.
How about this for a contract:
‘I, Sonali, shall not leave NewsRound
until I have ranked up a thousand
(1,000).
Or I should marry Randy‘
Sonali, fingers crossed..
Erm, not when doing that..
She could get 5/5 this week.
Grand Slam, so 2 speak.
Would going nude be allowed on
NewsRound?
They can not not have noticed the hot
weather recently.
There was something on
<added>I<added>TV
yesterday evening, and I
didn’t update until this
morning.
Mourning..
Is that still allowed, now?
You’ve guessed it.
It was that Sally Anne B prog on
ITV.
Everything that’s on the internet
might leave you knowing A LOT about
it/her, but you know about it.
It took the last bit of belief in
God.
There’s a thread on it on
threadhopper.wordpress.com,
where it compares mankind to a game
that God created, and why the rules
would.. choose/order/dictate it
having to be Sally Anne and not a
dictator/murderer/sex-offender/cheater/
the site’s admin..
It’s prob not something that you’d
watch with your girlf/fiancé/sign other..
It’d bust the myth that guys don’t cry.
It got the attention from my fiancé though
when I got upset with that psychopath..
psychologist.
Emotionless ‘analysing’ it all.
Psychologists, who have all the answers, but
don’t actually prevent it.
As the guy in the prog said,
why Lewis didn’t walk her to the
front door.
I’m a bit suspicious about his
‘is this about the row with my girlfriend
lass night*?’
The strangest bit was that they showed Sally Anne
in a photoshoot of pictures I’ve seen be4.
Her mother said she was street-wise, which got
me thinking..
In a discusted.. discussion somewhere on
wordpress it says that she looks great for
that purpose.
The way I’d learned of her putting me off.
Where that psychologist/sicko/brain-damaged
talked about (extreme) violence** and ’sex’..
If that has anything to do with it,
I’m put off for ever.
* intentional
** he meant slaughter
** psychopaths/psychologists like to talk about
this sort of thing, they don’t know what
it means
$onali checked all her 20 pees
this morning, and none were worth
£50.
Hmmm.. 20 pees eh..
Girls pee every 15 mins
So if she had her last one @ 9.30
9.30 –> 9.15 –> 9.00 –> 8.45
8.30 –> 8.15 –> 8.00 –> 7.45
7.30 –> 7.15 –> 7.00 –> 6.45
6.30 –> 6.15 –> 6.00 –> 5.45
5.30 –> 5.15 –> 5.00 –> 4.45
she got up at around 4.40.
None of them were worth £50.
Just 1 of them would be worth 5 fold.
Sonali pees £250.
Or would that be the TP worth £250 after
if she wiped with it.
It’s not censored that.
Personali I’d prefer the wee bit.
I’d take it lightly.
That bird’s Sonali.
In which case you’d know exactly
what bird.
A Top Wanking Bird.
I got close, on Countdown
114
100 50 4 8 1 10
8 / 4 = 2
50X
100
10 + 1 = 11
100 +
111
The hattrick over Susannah this morning already
more than my/the MDA.. RDA.
MDA of course standing for Masturbation’s
Digital Assistant.
Although I personally prefer Rachel Riley.
Can I have a wank please, Rachel!?
Notice the vowel..
I recently downloaded a game called Go.
Its name comes from the Japanese word for
start.
Can’t Go anywhere now without My Digital Assistant.
It might be known as Gore in the Newcastle
area mind.
If you wanna download it, Go to midlet.org,
or mitchellaneous.wordpress.com.
Okay.. I admit.
YES, I VISIT THAT SITE!!!!!
Today on BBC London the repeat of the interview
with TK, just after I had visited that forum,
in which it was announced.
And I’ve decided – No refering to Caroline.
Related to Liz Barker?
Sue and Liz, they must be related.
Amazing, like TK.
Now, Tony = Anthony.
Liz = Elizabeth?
Sue = Suzy? Susanna?
The link, and you find it’s about
football clubs’ names.
Apparently there’s a Wanka in Rhodesia.
The manager, really disappointed in the
team’s performance – Oi wanka!
Also mentioned Go Ahead Eagles, Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes’
phrase when her fave team have done well and (some fans) fancy a w*nk.
over her
Oi Wanka!
No, Lizzie Greenwood Hughes admirer.
Riz was due, really, add anded another.
She seems to wear a lot of white, which prompts
the question..
Rule #1 and all that, maybe that’s a myth?
As in – let’s start this myth and then wear white
regardless.
They won’t suspect anything.
<VH1>Pink Floyd’s Another *rick in the H*and or something..</VH1>
I wonder.. that girl wanka.. wearing that shirt with
number 32..
She’d be a nice addition to my rank.
Missed most of the ONE show,
but the ONE thing I caught was
Cerrie Burnell.
She was red hot on Saturday,
and added to me rank.
I have recently added a couple
of new names and although I have
kept no record on it, Shirley that’s
a record?
Kelly Shirley, who I thought already
had a point already, took two on
Sunday and with that, leap-frogged
all the others to win lass week.
I think Louisa Preston won it with 1 point.
The title comes from Queen? Rania of Jordan.
What a Royal Flush-worthy.
I’m certain lass time I knocked it out over
her she was still Princess?
She must be the first Royal I have
gone over in different guises.
Are you a Princess in disguise?
Of course, masturbathing is prohibited
in the Great Nation of Jordan.
I bet there might be some inhabitants doing
it secretly.
Ooohh give away! Royal Flush.
I still need to update the rank as I’m typing
this.
She got 2.
That’s what I thought, when I saw her
on the cover: Hello!
And all my own copy, so if a couple
pages be glued together.. sorry, I mean got
sticky..
Princess Rania 1 Queen Rania 2
Well, she’s achieved 2 rare feats.
1) Outscoring herself
2) I had all 3 over her on the toilet
2 further notes:
Never was a sock involved when knocking it out over
Princess/Queen Rania, and also, what’d be
so special about having all 3 over her in
the same location?
Now, I mentioned that I need to update the rank
still, so that, should you visit now,
you can see how ‘long’ that’d take.
Thought 4 the day: Can I have a w*nk please, Rachel?
Oh, and.. 1 big ONE please.
Your homework for today:
147
100 80 15 27 1 7
Editing/Updating/Adjusting
the wank-rank, I couldn’t believe
those were Kelly Shirley’s
first!?
Shirley not!?
No third for her, as my fiancé
came in, or that might have
been a hattrick!
She wins this week though, and that
is most likely a record.
Quick thinking today, when the drivers
made their way up to the podium,
as that girl was red all over.
Well, dressed in red that is!
But for my timing the other girls..
Just.
The tricky bit is how to put them
on the wank-rank!?
The red erm.. 4? as I think there
were 4.
Might have been 3 mind, 1 per driver/trophy.
Which reminds me of a girl in british flag erm..
underwear? swim gear? many years ago.
That’d be fitting, dressed in the Union Jack..
What is the flag of wankerania?
Union Jack.. ?
I thought that was Tosscane…?
Just happy to have acted on impulse, with them red 4?
Shall I add them as grid girls as well?
So, because of that, my fave sign interpreter missing out,
even though she looked stunning, gorgeous, amazing.
Ironically she wasn’t wearing red, but losing out to
girls who wear.. were!
Kelly missed out lass week, or rather – I missed out,
when she was also on Something for the W*nkend.
By having 2 now, I might have made up for it.
?
Anyway, that Donna Italiano Lorena Babeanchetti
wasn’t on Rai Youno.
There’s clips of her on youtube though.
And remember: You Tube, so no w*nking.
Although, if YouMust, it might be a comforting thought
that it can even happen to a seasoned w*nker like me.
In fact, the reason that Discovery had gone last time,
was because I erased all channel info and started all
over because Rai Uno had gone all black.
Turned out Lorena wasn’t even on that Sunday!
She seems to be v. religious, as she appeared
a couple times in an italian mag called Dipui.
No idea what it means.
A w*nkers dream in a picture with the Pope!
Now, to not getting you confused,
I put it like that; (3) + 3 times 2.
Which translates to 3,222.
If that number looks familiar,
you might have checked the wank-rank
after my Susie Dent & Rachel Riley
double.
I bet there’s a word for that; A number
followed by a number, as many times
as the first number.
The 3 in the example, followed by 3 2’s.
It could’ve bin.. sorry, been a 2 followed
by 2 3’s, but I had toooo many wanks for
that occurring.
It could have been a 4 followed by
4 1’s, and it WILL be, assuming I won’t go
(2) soon.
2 notes: When I put those sign like #&°*¤
in the Blog Title, it was referring 2 TK,
who did.
Also, I keep going on about Christine Bleakley
having the best behind ever, something I don’t
*ssume either!
A suggestion I found in a (new) comment,
on the D) activated post, about adding
so-and-so to the rank.
Christina Milian.
While I was telling her what I saw when looking
@ her, did she sing about..
Did she sing ..getting off, on me..?
Question: How many times did Christina Milian
ask you to get off ‘on me’/her?
Twice.
1’s in the lyrics and 1’s by dressing like that,
including the peek upskirt.
And off he went, watching loads of
V(ideo)H(its)1…
WNAKREPRTYA
Erm.. Wankerparty?
Susie: Erm, no, that’s wankersparty.
When you’d be solo that’s a wank-fest.
Talking of which, maybe I’d send an
e-mail to the BBC, suggesting my great idea
for a new BB-alike programme, where a guy gets
locked up with LOOOAAAADS of BBC/CBBC pressies.
Yep, that’s short for presenters.
Erm.. or R they..?
Anyway, some of they ARE presents.
It’s for Children in Need, so very fitting
that this guy (me?) REEAAALLLY neeeeeeds it.
Well.. THAT!!!
So after w*nking himself dry first, or this
series would have only 1 episode, viewers see
this guy (please let it b ME!!???) getting
more & more aroused, Randy (see, it’s ideal for me!),
and desperate.
There’s loooaaadsss of CeleBBritease who were
set the challenge to have him lose control and
get off on live telly.
If .jiz .. sorry, Riz looks anything like she does
now, I’d suggest that song by Donna Lewis,
I could be the 1.
Finally, Rachel Riley looked more than all-white 2day.
That’s a lot of WordPlay in this post, and if it’s
confusing with all them numbers – Good!
There’s a Word for that, WordPlay, Mayking use of
Words that sound a-like, have more than ONE meaning
and trying to deliberately cause confusion.
It’s Pun.
That bloke uses a lot of WordPlay.
He’s a Pun guy to be with.
Is it pun to say you knocked it out over Queen/Princess
Rania of Jordan on the toilet!, which makes for a
Royal flush?
Now, writing this post kept me from having
a wank over Jiz Lateef.
Oh well, Christine’s life* partly on The 1 Show.
She’s red in the report!
(show us yer bum)
*I could do a live report on a ONE show wank,
although I’d rather have the wank of a live-time**.
Better time it good.
**Although I’d prefer a wank of a life-time even
more!
On one of those rare ocassions
where I was up (and running!)
b4 my fiancé, I was pleasantly
surprised seeing my Fave sign
language interpreter.
And.. she picked up another point.
Yesterday, I think, my short term memory letting
me down, I put an email link in the
menu.
It ends with ?subject=CelebrityGuestBook.
Just mentioning it now, I thought that Christine
Bleakley wood.. sorry, would send a pic of
herself on the bog.. excuse me, toilet, then
she’d run away with the championship.
Imagine, Christine Bleakley sitting on the toilet!
A red skirt, with perhaps a double pair of
pants, of which ONE clearly just above
her knees.
Just to make certain.
We’ve seen her pee.
Fight them with their own ammonition.
The toilet overflowing with decency.
Christine’s also a great choice to not
knock it out over, but to knock
it out in.
Now.. pssst.. all you celebrities visiting
this blog..
There’s something I’ve found on
WordPress.com, that I’d liketo make a link to,
but I might share it with you first!
Ssssshhhhhh!!
Ellie Crisell just ONE away from a century now.
I don’t catch her every eve/night.
But hey, she might send a pic of herself
in a short skirt, double pair of those,
knickers just above her knees a couple sheets of.
TP in her hand
Now, between you and me, celebrities.
I think that lass, and remember:ssshh!..
(whistling)
Imagine that’s a celebrity.
I’ll give you my Top 10: (of who I think/fantasize
would be great in that vid.)
Just another WordPress.com w*log
