Last night I just had to go over Natasha Kaplinski.
She’s soooo hot!
Well, imo anyway.
I think it’s repeated as well, so that should be a repeat performance by myself.

Then there was Louise Minchin this morning.
Opposite to Susannah on Easter, she was all in red, with a little white.
Now, I compared Susannah’s clothes with a tampon..
So this would be a tampon, with just a little white left?
So anyway, Louise wanted to tell us something?
Like -it’s the heavy days?
Maybe it was all about the white stuff?
I red.. read about that, and it explained why me girlfriend never complained about the white stuff in the shower’s gutter.
Might be hers after all..

I was up early enough, and not just me!, but I had breakfast with my girl.
Then the disappointment of Gavin.. not some wanky girl over breakfast on newsround.
Louise and Sarah were wankable though, especially Louise.
BTW, was that Liz Frazer yesterday on breakfast?
If so, I should have gone over her.. over you, Liz.
Apologies accepted?

I went over Helen on newsround.
She was on that cycle track.
Just sniffing at her saddle..
Gee, she must be fit! No sweaty..

Then of course there’s these dogs on the ONE show.
Sure would be wanting more than sniffing.
Suggestive, wasn’t it?
Climbing up that cough.
The other dog, went so close to Christine.
If I ever were that close I’d be gone! I mean, I’d start wanking on the spot.
So, with the third dog licking came also to mind.
Unfortunately I had not a chance, but I missed ONE or two one shows this week.
Just happy to get me daily sniff.

Newsround /special?
Sonali presented it, that for sure!
Someone commented that if she’d wear a skirt, that’ll be worth a squirt or So..
She WAS wearing ONE today, but the topic put me off.
Hey Sonali, there’s a red spot just there on yer skirt.. you’re on your period?
No, a dagger did that
What would you use that for, there?
Ah, ‘f course.. Shaving did ya?!..

There’s of course circumcision, a terrible thing.. dunno if they do that in Kenya, where apparantly Sonali’s from.
Imagine walking through Kenya and to see Sonali.
She’d be wearing.. a skirt?
Nah, they probably walk ’round nude in Kenya.
She’d probably have 2 p.
Which they do on the side of da road in Kenya.
They would probably think nothing of it, in Ke..
Well, I would certainly find it too erousing for comfort and start walking.
Make that wanking.
Well actually.. she made me.. ?

Having had it not for a while, anyway that’s what it felt like, I had it twice over this model from the NEXT ad.
(Dunno her name)
About time I had it over her.

(where she lies on the bed¹.)
¹ Great wank though!

Susannah Reid had this strange choice of clothing, but then I got it:
She was to remind us that it was easter!
Some kind of red spot on that white thing!
Looked like a tampon, didn’t it?!
Oh yes, I thought, egg.. Easter!
Either that, or I was spot on about that it apparantly always travels with ya..
I tried to time it to go over Helen as well. Helen Willets.
Fitting that they chose her as weather girl when Susannah was dressed like that.
I then had it over Amanda and Gail..
She asked if she’d come.
I didn’t ask, I just made that bald move.
Hope she don’t mind.
Typically english, that.
Erousing that: a few short squirts of different liquids to make a cock-tail, then shake it as well!
Plus that method that Estelle? used with that egg beater! (?)
No really, a great way to do it.
Try it.
Ah, you have done..
Which left only Lorena, that Rai Uno what came over me babe.
I did know damm well! She’s hot!
She’s a top wanking bird.. la birdo wanka fantastico (?)
Eggs.. birds.. any favourites to hatch your egg?
She’d be a hot favourite!
Keep it warm will ya!
Not exactly eating pussy..
Had your easter egg today?

Yesterday Lizzie missed out, which I think is partly due to the technique she’d recommend.
Putting it between the index and middle fingers and rub the top with the thumb.
The marbles technique.
Well, not marble-lous, perhaps.
It might take too long.

Helen Skelton might hatch my egg, but she’d better hatch on a gret rescue plan..

Any eggs you haven’t found?
Too obvious that, Susannah.
Too much information?
Hmm.. I found it quite erousing.

Oh, and while on the subject of birds..
Remember that chick Nelly Furtado? I’m like a bird..
A top wanking bird, indeed..

Don’t push me, cause I’m close to da egg..
Erm.. Edge.
Yeah well, ya would be loaded wouldn’t ya!
Went over Helen though..
She ate that incest.. insect!
Erm.. Incest?
Easy, with a sis like Helen..
Does wanking count by the way?
Or feeding ya these creepy crawlies!
You get to wank over me if you finish your plate..
Yamm!

That insect has the day.. 2 days.. 3 days? of his life!
Going through Helen’s body..

And Sonali.. How close to the egg is she? Having another period before Easter?

Now..
Someone, who probably won’t return to my blog, reported this blog as mature.. !
How dare ya!
Mature?
Now, just a thought, but erm..
wouldn’t be any celebrity, would it be?
It shocks me, that.
Now then. That thing in Closer, which you read, cause you’re a girl..
Hang on.. that person wouldn’t return, now would they..
Really mature of that judge eh?
Now.. The news is full of mature things like a judge letting a sex offender go free.
Convicted sex offenders.
They won’t do it again, just like they didn’t the other 20 times they were convicted already.
No, let’s go call self regulating a crime, yet let sex offenders go without punishment.
Really mature. If it was the judge’s children.. he’d grow up quickly.
He’d need double standing.. double standards.
Really mature giving sex offenders a second chance.. third, fourth.. ..(fill in a number) chance.
Personally I don’t consider it case solved after more than ONE conviction. And certainly nothing to be proud of.
Looking for a pattern.. Yuk, it fills me with horror.

More like could’ve been prevented.

Nothing against that visitor, just wanted to get it off me chest.
And this was an opportunity.

So there I was, coming home to newsround..
Newsround already on, I expected nothing..
Maybe a report with Laura Helen..
SONALI!
So, she’s doing the presenting!
A quick preparation later..
Nah.. just have it in me pants..
Decided against it, just the old cure then. The sock.

Had one yesterday over Christine.
I dunno what to write nor find the time ocassionally.
She deserved 8 for that outfit.
Footie clubs could learn from that.
Being in the black.
Red hot, in black.

Now.. That period thing..
NO I’M NOT OBSESSED..
Apparantly, the size of certain parts, that can be found on the Sun’s 3rd page, can very well differ on those days.
I didn’t notice on Christine.. Although her eyes were so shiny.. Another periodic thingy.. apparantly.
Oh, and Sonali standing was just coincidence.. I think.. know
Mine standing was no coincidence. Sonali was on!
No, just on.

Them girls..
You look at a girl and you know she’s had them, gonna have them and maybe on it right there and then.
’cause they’re girls.
Girls might THINK about guys he does that, but they don’t know!
That’s the difference.
They might even think he’ll do it over me (,maybe), when being looked @.

Next on breakfast, you might know this wa.. guy from his blog wankablecelebs dot wordpress dot org.. sorry, dot com.
-Welcome on breakfast, Randy..
-Hello..
-I’ve been to your blog..
-and back..
-and back.. Apparantly you did it most over Helen from newsround, Ellie, also newsround and erm.. me!
-Yes, it was too close to call..
-So, this was true? You really.. did it most over..
-Yep.
-In the end you did it over Helen 3 times on New Year’s Eve..
-Well.. just wanted her to get.. share that title..
-Okay. ’cause I was wondering how much of it is real and how much you.. manipulate(?) it..
-Obviously I want my visitors to be able to relate to it.. but I try to keep it as real as possible.. I wonder if you manipulate(?) it yourself.. You know, like wearing something pink..
-..or blue..
-You HAVE read my blog!
-Just as a journalist.. obviously..(¹)
-Yes, of course..
-What makes you decide who to go over?
-Haha.. You’re not getting any tips from me, Susannah.
Not that you’d need any, you’re wanky as you are!
-Shouldn’t that be wankable?
-Don’t you love it when somebody invents a new word?!
-So, what MAKES a wanka.. wanky celebrity?
-They need to not have that “everybody does it over me” kind of attitude. Some good wanky clothes. Compliments to yer clothing advisor, Susannah.
-I’ve chosen this myself..
-Great choice! I could go over you like that.. I mean.. like NOW..
-Hmmm, you might come to my dressing room later..
-I might do that!
-That’s why I invited you to come to my dressing room.
-No, I meant.. Actually.. Don’t cha mean come in my dressing room?

-As long as you don’t come over me!
-Nah.. I’ll go over you, Susannah..
-You’re gonna be interviewed by Christine. Shall I leave some questions for her?
-Nah.. She only needs ONE!
-Yes, that kind of.. milking it?.. is all over your blog. Don’t you think regular visitors get tired of it?
-Well.. Maybe if I’d do that ONE more time?
-I’m afraid we have to leave it there. How about Helen? How wankable is she?
-Very.. Erm.. when she’s on.. erm.. we’re not on camera are we..? (!)

¹ She “says” NOT!
Hence the title, Reid my lips.

Getting away with it..
’cause it’s for Children in Need..
Comic relief..
Relief?
Erm.. I’m Needy.. Oh and those “funny faces”? That’ll be the “comic” part..

Bargain Hunt for charity..
Gemma Hunt for.. ahem, she mentioned Willy Wonka..
You get it, don’t ya..

Yes, Gemma Hunt goes “under the hammer”.
No, nothing to do with them wet sham.
Although there might be a few wet spots..

Next up.. (which reminds me: you know that girl from the NEXT ad?!)
..is Gemma Hunt.
We’ll start at..

Not like that, is it..
-Erm Gemma.. 20 quid for a picture!
-25 if you’ll pose..
-40 if you do some of those Shaun the Sheep moves you did when you were on telly..
..oh, and a tenner for a wank..(?)
-same as above, but wearing that green-ish skirt.. 60 quid!

(H)mmm.. Gemma would know what she’d say to them..

-Now guys.. I’d love to pose for ya.. if you go that extra mile!
(Hang on, wouldn’t we be exhausted?!!)
Oh and.. 25 quid each!
Now get off.. off to go that extra mile..

Sure.. Oh..
-Erm, Gemm.. what if manage 2?
(after that mile?!)
-First do that mile will ya!

Better find a cash machine..(!)

Today had new telly installed.
So I’m looking for this italian channel, rai-th, there she is!
I thought she was on on sundays: It clearly said Domenica.
Now, I dunno my italian but I know that Domenica means Sunday.
Straight away I’m having it over her (link will follow).
Her name is apparantly Lorena.
(I mentioned her in one of my polls)
Only had ONE over Christine, she’d deserved another couple..
Laura had this report where she might have been in a loo.. sorry; toilet..
Next time please show her sit(ting) down..
PLEAAAAASE?
They then had this.. pink toilet paper.
Don’t needa think twice where that’ll go, eh!
Talking of pink, this italiano babe had pink jeans on.
Mama mia, whatta a babe!
Sorry, I meant of course..
Whatta a top wanka bird!
She’s donna prima for those ragazze.
First Lady, first choice for italian youths..