Congratulations 2 meself, as this is my 250th post!
And what a celebration I already had.
Having a busy schedule I started the day early.
Having a quick one over that g*o*r*g*e*o*u*s early bird Laura Tobin, who had (fortunately) a lengthy talk.
Quick shower, and “off”.
Off too with that sock.
Girlfriend still asleep. (yes, it was that early)
Good thing we have a telly in the living room as well!
Then.. later..
Even later..
I was.. Closer.. OK.. FHM..
Ah, yes..
LOADED!

Sonali must have had a suspicion the 250th post was.. coming?
What a girl!
And not even in a skirt.
Wank of a life-time?
If not, than certainly very close indeed.
As I thought I’d go again over her, they showed the best bits of Lizo, as he has left NewsRound.
As I was.. keeping my thingy ready? to go again over Sonali, suddenly
ELLIE showed up!
If you saw it you will know that..
ELLIE’S HAD HER BABY!!
Not only that, but I had it over her! (and Laura)
How that baby got out might be a turn-off, So it would more likely have something to do with.. dare I say it, how it got in?
Or maybe wondering if auntie Flo has come 2 town, yet.
Or maybe that she can reach again, to wipe when she’s peed.
She might be p*ssed now, with me writing all this.
She might as well be peeing with laughter.
Which would, word has it, amuse Laura very much, who apparently likes people being in stitches.
Now, before you harm yourself..
Maybe it was just Laura sitting next to her?
It certainly wasn’t Lizo leaving.
Anyway, she’s now level with Becky Jago on the all time wanking list.
Congratulations Ellie, both with that, and the baby.
Congratulations too to her.. significant other.
For the baby part, unless you’d feel happy with your girlfriend/financé/wife being a top wanking bird.
Almost litterally.

c*h*e*e*r*s,

Randy.

How I didn’t go over Laura yesterday..
How inviting, reading the comments.
In jeans even, just the way I like her.
Even more surprising how I didn’t go over Louise Smart Minchin, with her glasses.
About time I had another one over her!
I was ready for Sonali however, nice.. eye-candy as ever.. in a hammock, with A SKIRT!!!
Yamm..
So.. girl next door.
I just timed it perfectly.
Just had to go.
Lovely, thanks Sonali.
Just to catch up: yesterday had it over Christine, who was all in blue. Nice!

Christine: TWO.. Tooonight on the ONE SHOW, we’ve got Randy.
He keeps a blog on wankable celebrities, and also keeps the score on his wanking list.
Welcome, Randy.
Randy:-Hello, Christine.. co-presenter..
Christine:- Congrats, first of all, on your 50,000th visitor!
R: Thanks.. hang on!
How’d ya know that?
C: Log-in to your blog..
R: You’d need a password too!
C: Just guessed you’d use a celebrity’s name..
R: They won’t accept Susannah Reid..
C: They would, if you’d change it to 5u5anna re1d..
Just guessed a few times..
Then I tried Chr15t1n3Bl3akl3y..
Anyway, strange sitting next to a guy, who apparently does it over ya!
R: Apparently?
I’m more than willing to show ya in person..
C: Come to my dressing-room after the show, if you mean that.
How did ya come up with the idea for the blog?
R: Well.. I looked for it on the internet, and since I couldn’t find anything like it..
C: There’s plenty of fora discussing.. knocking one out over, say, Becky Jago!
R: Yes, but not like rewarding championship points for it, like on my blog..
C: Which makes interesting reading, since.. ahem, dare I say it.. I lead the ranks.
R: And deservedly so!
C: Thanks.
R: Pleasure..
C: Secret?
R: ?
C: ..secret pleasure?
R: Well, my secret pleasure would be 2 drink your p..
C: Moving swiftly on!
You keep your blog quite.. tastefull. Until recently.
R: ? Oh, you mean the thing with Emma Watson upskirt (?)
C: I wondered, since you keep celebrities stats on the wanking list, you could have some stats of your blog on your.. blog..

R: Who would be interested in that?
Not me!
C: Obviously, I would just log-in..
R: I’m gonna change that password, though!
C:.. but there are other visitors to your blog, who might just be interested..
R: They might be more interested in you!
C: That visitor might be me!
R: They might be others, who fancy a wank over you, just like me.
C: You really alternate socks?
R: AC/DC babe!
Erm.. that’s a yes.
C: Who’s your favourite? -And don’t say me, cause I’m topping the list..
R: You ARE.. ONE of my favourites though, with Ellie Harrison (who in the mean time came sitting next to me).
Sonali is great, and.. oh, Tina O’Brien..
C: Any nicknames?
Like referee eye-candy.
R: You: the ONE, the ONE and Ellie..
Ellie dirty Harri-son..
Sophie Precious McDonnell
Mohine Deutsch Sule
Erm.. and of course, the mostest wankable perSONALIty, that girl from newsround.
C: That’d be.. Ellie?
R: SONALI %&€%#!
C: %&€%#! ?
R: It was all in my answer..
perSONALIty! /@&%€!
C: /@&%€! That’s like when you decide to go over say.. Sonali and suddenly the end credits show up..
R: Yeah well.. Logo’s, male presenters, end credits.. that so unwan..
C: Unwanted.
R: Yes, although the word I wanted to use was unwankable.
C: ONE thing I think, that everybody wants to know; How genuine is it?
R: My autobiography. Period.
C: Yeah well, count yourself lucky you don’t get any of those!
R: And you would know..?
Oh yes, you had some, before you became a celebrity.. (?)
C: Becoming a celebrity doesn’t change any of that.
Besides, on your blog you’re going on about them. You seem a little obsessed!
R: Nah.. just a fetish?
So, if becoming a celebrity doesn’t change any of that, celebrities might change plenty of those..
C: Moving on.. You DO seem to like white. Is that your favourite colour?
R: Well.. I find it’s erousing.
But they better don’t do a Mischa Barton.
C: Yeah, rule # 1: Never wear white when Auntie Flo is in town.
R: Is she?
C: Well.. London isn’t a town anyway.
R: Is Bangor a town?
C: Erm.. no?
Ah.. That post you wrote and congratulated me.
Bang or just congrats..
You had a bang, did you?
R: Erm..
C: I wouldn’t take any presents from you..
R: I wash my hands! Besides, that ONE was a present from you.. (?)
I guess you didn’t get me sock then.. (So NOT funny Randy!)
C: Yeah, I did actually.. It was clean, though. You might have sent the wrong ONE of the pair..
(How can she keep so cool?)
Your flexible hours.. I thought you’d be a table-fitter?
Delivery.. Postman..?
R: (Still speechless from Christine’s reply)..Your fitter than me, that for certain. Delivering posts, yes. But only on my blog..
Close..
C: Mohini, who knows some German, actually bought that magazine (with that Emma Watson upskirt picture) to read, and pointed out that
-Er-wisht.. Shouldn’t that be Sie wisht
R: So..?
C: Er = he, Sie = she..
wisht = wipes..
R: Ah, yes, on that picture of Emma Watson upskirt!
Yes, I wish.. Yeah.. she’s a lady, she does..
C: And then you could read it..
R: I could, yes.
C: You obviously guess!
R: (upset) I DON’T!!
C: Read this ONE, to prove it.
R: Mohini? No, waite.. Someone who likes origami.. Jane Halifax?
C: The folding told you, didn’t it?
R: Told ya I didn’t guess..
I can also tell that THAT one is yours, Christine, after you had a number ONE. I don’t read “two’s”, btw! And that one is Fiona Bruce’s. Not in the slightest paying attention to the finger-marks.
(Give-away, really: Short (piece of t.p.) and Fiona wipes diagonally..)
C: We’ve had some e-mails 4 u, Randy.
Someone@some.email-service.com wants to know..
Did you really have an accident on Children in Need night?
R: Can’t be.. I was home, watching a charity programme..
C: Fiona Bruce ring a bell?
R: Not mine.. Yes, I had an accident over Fiona Bruce.
But IT WAS HER FAULT!
That short.. skirt (?)
criminal!
C: You’ve had more accidents?
Becky Jago.. although most of those were on purpose.. Edele Lynch.. Louise.. undressing her with my eyes.. undressing myself afterwards.. Yuk!
C: Sondra wants to know..
Do you know if it’s a boy or girl yet..
R: We don’t wanna know yet!
C: Ellie Sanderson wants to know if you think she’s wankable!? (cringe!)
R: Judging by your name you are!
E-mail me a picture and I’ll let you know.
C: Nearing 250 posts, which ONE’s your personal favourite?
R: The NewsRound Special.
C: Ever considered becoming an agony aunt?
R: No. Agony uncle perhaps..
But visitors of my blog, would probably prefer an agony guy.
I would recommend you, to.. w*nk over. Tracey Cox (CLOSER magazine) does an excellent job. So do you, in more ways then.. ONE.
C: That’s a nice way to finish.. Thanks Randy, for coming on our show. Or indeed after the show, as you promissed. See if you manage more than ONE..
(Surely she’s joking?!)
R: ¤°:.€£¥ (inaudible)
C: NEXT.. on the ONE-show..

So you want some
STATS:
(if not: then why did you use that link?)
blog started: 21 september 2007
50,000th visitor page-view: may 2008, 100,000 november 2008
most views/day: 1227, on 4 may 2009
most viewed post: wank-rank: 18,000+
technorati
back

Staying in bed, Sunday morning, I got rewarded, with Carrie Grant.
Making a Grant ocassion of it..
8 out of 10.. 12 for that.
Well.. should have given me a twelve..
Accurately it was 9 out of 12..

With me girlfriend home, managed 1over Amanda Nutrition Hamilton.
The singer, who sang something like hard, harder..
Probably because he was sitting next to Amanda.
I wood.. would have trouble keeping it.. down.
As I had indeed.
But then just helped a bit.
Now.. mine ended up in some sock, but it appears to be full of minerals and stuff?
So, since donuts have a hole in the middle..
How about that for a healthy snack?!
Boasting about it, I would prob. need 3 donuts to get to the top..
Now we’re @ it, eggs are very nitritious as well.
No, the ones that birds lay!
Oh, you refer to girls as birds..
Amanda would know all about it.
She’s a nutritionist.
I wonder wether that means, she would also be able to tell you why it gives this strange sensation on your fillings (?) if you have any.

She’d probably pee in a glass every now and then, to see if she drank enough.
This would also be very full of minerals and stuff, apparently.
Erm.. Amanda? Since you’ve peed in a GLASS..
Cheers..
(Which celebrity’s is yours?)

Talking of which..
Ever noticed that male presenters have this fetish of drinking from the same glass as Amanda?!!
Surely they could afford more than one @ the BBC.
Not that I’d mind, mind!
So Amanda, who knows this, spits in it.
Makes no difference whatsoever.
Well.. Amanda wouldn’t leave her drink unattended anyway.
Lewis Hamilton, no relation (?), had a little mischief in the grand prix of Racing through the streets of our little.. Village?..
I thought I’d have it over Amanda if he won, and an accident if he’d have one.
Got the first part right.
But then, it wasn’t an accident, really..

So, the eurovision song-contest is here again.
Watching it with my girlfriend, who think the UK should win.
Partly agree with her, as I’d go for the UK-raine.
Already a fantasy coming up while seeing that UkRaINE entry.
You’ve.. guessed it?!

Albania was quite nice wanky as well.

Usually I don’t turn on the telly until close to SportsRound, but today I caught that 50/50 thing.
You’ve guessed it, Sophie Precious McDonnell.
This might actually be the most wankable eurovision song-contest since!
Not least because of this lady presenter, that I mistook for Catherine Deeley.
Hope you’re not offended, Cat.
Anyway, I haven’t wanked over her. (yet)
Those russian girls look quite tasty.
The wankiest thing to come from Russia since TATU.
Cat likes it kinky apparently, so this 1 is for you:
Do russian girls ever get a visit by the russians?
Now, that romanian girl is quite tasty! IMO
Among others..
Didn’t go over Lizzie, although she deserved it.
Found it.. hard? to time it.
She definitely has hers back, hence the red trousers.
Yes, she’s reading visited my blog and decided to give a little obvious hint!
Now, how many times I could have had it tonigt if my girlfriend hadn’t been here..?
Erm.. she’d mind if I do it you think?
That could have gone filthy/filthy..
If she just had had plans..

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

All those stars on Sonali’s..
Distracted me..
It took a while to notice she was wearing a skirt.
As 4 the stars..
She’s a star, she.
Sonali.
Didn’t Helen have something stripey, recently?
Anyway, her boobs were very.. there, yesterday.
As were Susannah’s.
I was just about telling myself that
-I’ll write about Susannah, who forgot that I prefer white on the bottom-half, when I realized it was not that bad.
Quite nice, actually.
Then there’s Louise Lear, who I caught on breakfast this morning, and who should get a mention.
There’s So many wankable celebrities, you end up with, what they’d call a fixture back-log in footie.
Well, she didn’t get that hattrick, but she’s got 2 braces and a.. single?
She’d get a lot more braces from singles, mind.
Maybe even over a single edition of newsround!
That person who commented on Sonali wearing a skirt..
He’ll probably be very satis.. happy.
Sonali got 5 this week, thus probably taking points off Christine, but sure eating huge chunks of that not-that-huge-anymore lead.
Talking of leads..
How about being on a lead, lead by Sonali?!
Don’t even have to be her pet either.

Sonali already has FOUR this week, 2 braces, with Susannah in between.
She could still make a hattrick, her!
Missed the first bit, but I think I might have fancied it over them both, if they’d been on a split screen.
Her nude-ish shoulders, but Helen’s boobs.. So.. so present.
Sonali could get her fifth tomorrow, something even Becky Jago, Rebecca Gunton to you and me, didn’t manage.
Come 2 think of it, Christine might not have managed..(?)
Well anyway.. Almost certain that Christine will miss out again, she’s taking points of of her directly, that Sonali!
She’d be going for a hattrick, tomorrow..
Or she’s Not on it, NewsRound, just to see how well I take the disappointment.
Oh, well..

Not only did I have my “breakfast” all over Susannah Reid, Sonali got her 3rd in 3 days.
In-form?
In my book she is!
Oh.. that is.. she had it shared with Lizzie.
The one whos periods are just about back-ish.
So I went over Sonali’s side and Lizzie on the screen.
Laura missed out, today.
She had a report on rubbish.
She put the banana skin in the bin.
Which reminded me to throw that sock.. that sock in the bin as well.
Erm, no. It didn’t have a hole in it.
Guess again?
Yes, that closer.
It’s been going all..
Let’s put it this way; It’s not as flexible as it used 2 b.
So Laura was talking rubbish, and put the banana skin in the bin, which was of, like a duckling shape.
She ate the banana, which I’m sure the duck didn’t mind.
Although when Laura’s come this close, one doesn’t think of eating banana (’s), do ya?
That would be more like prunes.
Bet she’s got one of those with her.
Or, since it was a duckling, he might think more of eating pussy.
I know I’d love to!
Hang on..
I’ve got a girlfriend!

Talking of which.
I’m gonna have her make some tea into that yellow stuff.
Bye!