Missed out on Sonali today.
The chance to go over her, since I caught NewsRound.
-Shall we leave you to it, one of me girls’ mates quipped.
They wouldn’t suspect anything now, would they?

I LIKE Sonali, for more than wa.. her looks.
Period.
Erm.. not envy-able.
How’s my spelling?
Nothing wrong with my taste, is there!

Later Kaye Forester came to the rescue.

I just caught Sophie Long and I thought
-That’d make for a great title.
Only.. Didn’t have it over her.
I then thought immediately that it could refer to Sonali not having been on NewsRound for.. So too long

Yesterday I missed out on Laura, when she was reading those comments.
Surely ONE more of you could have thought of something to comment on!
Hesitated too long, when she handed back to.. Jake? I could just prevent it coming.
I had it over some Garbage.
A first for her, Shirley.
She not only kept so close to the toilets, she sat down.
Not that way, but still.
They have a video clip of her peeing standing up, but it was apparently boycoted by MTV.

Laura’s now on eleven.
Great look that, great outfit.
Tight I thought.
She clearly wiped, last time she went pipi.
That’s Welsh for peeing.
Tric-trac is Welsh for wank(-ing).

Just in case Mohini Sule reads this:
Du bist zum wixen onanieren, du schønes mædchen.
It’s our policy not translate things like that.
If you wanna have a go, ask someone German, or try google translate.
If the phrase ‘Mohini Sule’ has the same effect on you, as it has on me, go knock one two three out over her.
Oh, you already got plans for 2night..

Apparently some BRAINDEAD PEOPLE FREAKS accused Mohini and Sophie MmmmcDonnell of dressing up like pr*st*t*tes.
You really ask yourself..

The best, or second best wank over Sonali today.
Nice legs.. which I could check out because of the skirt.
She closed the gap to 8! (?) points.
Just trying to figure out why I didn’t go twice..

Becky Jago’s record has now officially gone, after Christine put the gap to 9 again, later.
Still, she’s closing in on the lead, and might go past that 42 mark.
She’s the star, which she had on her shirt, earlier.
Now..
Let’s be honest, and if Sonali and Christine would be close @ the end of the year, this might influence who I decide to go over.
Not yet, though.

She’s got great legs, Sonali.
And I don’t think she uses any make up there!

Now we’re @ it..
I think that Amanda Hamilton’s 3rd place in the wank rank is absolutely am-azing considering she’s only on during SFTW.
I must add her tally to the Scots though!

Also talking of records, I might have a go at the rec for a hattrick over that Helena Lundgrrrl this week.

Just ONE more thing, Christine..
Treat them to a pint, box of chocolates, some wine..
Okay?
They’re a great team, they deserve it.
Just like..
Erm, actually you deserved more than those 43.

Apart from (little) monkeys, Ellie Crisell is a fan of the Rolling Grandd.. Rollling Stones.
And who’d blame her?
Ever had any tongue fantasies, though??

Now Ellie, let’s spend the night together!
Besides, why did they find it suggestive in the ‘good’ olden days?
Why would spending the night together always have to do with sex?
Perverts!
Anyway, I’d wank, honestly.
Why would she wanna have sex with ME?
O I C, she counts wanking.
I’d sing for her.
Something for the weekend like..
I’m Not waiting on a Lady, I’m just waiting on a wank.
Wanking over Ellie I never thought ‘this could be the last time’..
More like.. this could be a pastime!
Yes, she’s a top wanking bird, ain’t she?
Slowly undressing herself she thinks.. you ain’t see nothing yet.
(That’s a different band, Randy)
Why do people always masturbate over Ellie second day of the week?
It’s Rub-y Tuesday!

Good advice anyway, ‘don’t play with me cause I’m hot like fire’.
Play with yerself instead!
I can get loads of.. satisfaction..
and again.. and again ..and again.. and again..
And what a load it would be, if you’d put all them 87 together.
Is she satisfied being in joint first place?
No.. she’s a hard woman to please.
She’s your dream girl.
If she’d chew a slice of bread first, I’d eat it.
½ a loaf, for that matter.
Which, since she doesn’t swallow, won’t come out as brown sugar.
Now, she still gets to wipe, cause some girls..
Oh, you’ve read that Rachel Stevens bit.

No, let’s have a bath together, Ellie!
Make sure you get out before me.
She is hot, that Ellie.
Some people jumped to the wrong conclusion saying she WAS hot.
No, no spending the night with her.
Rather spend the day with her.
Might not be a wet dream, not even a day-dream..
It would be a dream come true!!
(But what if it’d disappoint ya Randy)
In the v. unlikely case it would disappoint me, don’t you worry, since I.. don’t look back

Anyway, was it a boy or girl she’s had?
They’ll be mother’s little helper soon, and she’ll be back on NewsRound.
Ellie..
Miss you!

Sonali is having something of a good run.
How many was that, this week?
I might have gone over Lizzie but for her.

Anyway, who would feel more strange?
Lizzie, for sitting next to someone who might do that over her, or the guy next to Lizzie, for sitting next to a girl he’s done it over?
Not that he’s done it over her, of course.
You can tell.
He could look her in the eye.

Then today, first had a good wank over Amanda Hamilton, followed by Louise Minchin, when she was on that skippy ball.
Then I’d thought that I might have another over Amanda Hamilton, when the gadget girl went down on her.. knee..
The robo-dog might have triggered it, but she was looking very tasty.
I think Amanda went into 3rd now?
Time for some action for the defending champion, Helen Skelton.

Couldn’t choose between the titles, but that’s not why I took this long to write this post.

Some thing stand, some .. ‘things’ sit.
Standing was my Kermit, as I call him, Sonali sat.
Not only did I decide to go over her, they (it seemed) zoomed in on her.
That’ll be her 50th.
Have a drink to it, Miss Sonali.
It was also Kenya’s 50th, she was born there, apparently.
Kenya’s sexiest I’d say.

Riz Lateef got another point on the board for her 5th, her 40th overall and newsreaders century.

Also yesterday, we welcomed a new visitor, as there were loads of polls clicked.
Probably something to do with the new polls page.
There’ll be more, soon.

Girlfriend pops out..
-back in five.
Five?!!
Tri-kki.
But with Nikki Sander8)n and Trinny Woodall, it might just work out.
Now..
Actually it was Hello and OK, I think.
Nikki Sanderson in 60’s look.
I wanted to get the Tina O’Brien in 50’s look, but too trikki with that 5 minute window.
Soon I went, and that Trinny Woodall know more about that.
What do they mean, how not to get in a car?
Nothing on show, not even the engine cover.

Anyway, did you see that girl on the weather forecast from Traf Sq?
Nah, this Woman was in the way waving at the camera all the time.
Had a couple of stimulating squeezes though.
Over the girl.
Soooo wanky.

Erased some of the polls, others will follow, and put them on a page.
Sonali had closed the gap to eleven, although Christine missed out while being very deserving.
Talking of Christine..
I would walk Christine.
Make certain she wouldn’t make mess somewhere.
Couple little plastic bags..
What was she thinking though?
That thing made her think of
a) a willy
b) your willy, Randy
c) a vibrator*

*Which we all know Christine doesn’t own.
(She doesn’t own a willy either. Although, thinking about it. It’s prob the other way ’round..)
Now, for your information, Nikita, you irritating Voice Over, if Kermkt, as I call him currently, gets up and I tell him to get down, he better abides or I will make him!
(What? Make him happy? You know rewarding him doesn’t help. He’ll do it again.)

May I also congratulate Katherine Carpenter, I couldn’t resist.
Now, there’s a really bad discusting poll coming in a couple minutes on the poll page, follow-up to the number 2 polls.

She was hot today, that Sonali.
And what do ya do on a hot day?
Exactly.
Order a drink. (or 2,3..)
-Waitress!
-One moment, sir.
She sure wouldn’t call me sir if she’d know everything I do in my spare time!
Oh, what the heck! I think, and start pocket stimulating certain parts of my body that suddenly took an interest in the waitress.

-What will it be, sir?
I first take a few looks at her..
-Erm, a big Cola and a pair of socks..
What was I thinking??
Now, there’s a link here to
Ellie Crisell, because she used to be a waitress in New York.
-Good tips, she said.
You showed só much cleavage? I thought.
Anyway, they didn’t put the tips.. well, erm.. there, did they?
Wankers.
(W*nkers may they be, but they sure had good taste!)
Yeah, she’s nearly a top wanking bird..
(Just 1 more)

It was so good that I decided to go twice over her if I managed.
Thanks for that, Sonali and..
Thanks again.
With Christine staying on 42 points, tied for a season’s record tally, she comes to within 12 points.
Well done.
Next thing you know she gives us a twelve..

When she comes back I have it over her again, and she spots me tossing one over her.
I drink my Cola and pay.
Must be the first time a waitress says to a costumer consumer
-Keep the change..

I mentioned Halifax on here before and while I was browsing wordpress.com I found this.
Now, clicking the all-time league records you choose any club you like.
So have you been paying attention?
How many matches have Durham..
But seriously.
What club did my interest go to?
a) Nelson
b) Kidderminster
c) Halifax
d) We come Wankerers

Quite a wankable list that.
Ellie Crisell is apparently born in County Durham. Huddersfield = Nina Hossain, Middlesbrough = Kirsten O’Brien, Bury = Nikki Sanderson, Cambridge = Liz Barker (greetings to you Elisabeth), Ipswich = Becky Jago, Newcastle = Jayne Middlemiss..
Let alone all the London clubs that made me think about Susannah Reid..
Oh and.. Louisa Preston and her sister? Kaddy Lee-Preston.
(I bet HE didn’t think like that, Randy!)
Perhaps not.. He might have been Randy though and had a good w*nk afterwards!
(Randy!)
Well, there’s this piece on the website that’s about Helena..
I mean of course a very wankable girl.
He finishes by saying
-Knocked it.. out!
(Does that make him a self-confessed w*nker?)
She DID pose for a magazine a couple of years ago, but I thought it was Lundgren and she was an actress.
She’ll probably be on my list by tonight, since I might have gone over her.
Somehow the mag dissappeared.
I wanted to go for a hattrick over her, have a crack at the record.
That’ll have to.. wait

Sky News reporting on the McCanns, and I thought
-I can’t? Cann I?

The most wankable thing coming from Portugal since Nelly Furtado.
Went twice over Kate McCann.
My girlfriend must have wondered where I went.
I was in the bedroom, Love.
No, that should be a capital.
A bit skinny, don’t ya think?
If she’s not carefull, her periods might disappear as well.
(Give it a break, Randy)

As I posted yesterday, Hamilton already having a point..
Amanda Hamilton that is.
Well, yesterday evening (I think) caught Donna.. You’ve guessed it; Lewis.
Not just makes for a great title either!
That was a first.
I lust you, ALWAYS, forever – springs to mind for a title.
But why did I need to have it over Amanda Hamilton earlier, to make a title like that even make sense?
Oh yeah, ’cause she looked hot and tasty and cheerfull, and on top of that was soooo deserving.
Talking of which; I deserted her, having just one over her.
Back to Donna, and she asked for it really.
Opening her legs, putting her hands in front of her..
I honestly had other things on my mind than thinking
-this could make a good title – !
Also yesterday I caught some CBBC CHANNEL sign lady.
What a.. (top wanking) bird!
Sorry, couldn’t find any gestures signs for chick.

Deaf people don’t have it easy, you know.. wanking wise.
They don’t know if they make too much noise, don’t hear anyone coming, don’t hear their girlfriend say..
-back in an hour!
And if you’d tell a girl you’ve masturbated over, everyone can see it!
Ahem, maybe you’re just telling her she’s a top wanking bird.
She is, that sign language lady from the CBBC CHANNEL.
I’m I close going over her?
No signs of it.. yet.
Join the qeue..

This morning, not on gm.tv btw, had it over Louise Minchin, who seems to be very cheerfull.
Keeley Donovan’s dress needs a mention though.
When you wake up that early and feel like wearing that..
You must be happy indeed.
It really cheered me up!
For a wank, caught her too late.
Better luck, next time.(?)