Was it yesterday, that I went over Riz Lateef?
She was gorgeous.
Yamm!

The chain that Sonali was wearing got me thinking.
S?
Now.. what could that possibly stand for?
Sonali… ?
Erm.. I thought..
Sexy?
Hmmm..
Sock?
Mmmm, probably wrong, but it got me an idea.
Sex?
Immediately followed by ‘does this qualify as sex?’
Sling-shot?
No, that’s 2 esses.
Which is also the case in
Sexy Sonali.
What would I use this sock anyway.. ah yes..
Sperm?
Was it S like in Sperm?
Then I had it over her.
So-na-ah-ah-li!
Ah!
That’s it!
The S was for So Gud..

Why did the cameraman focus on Louise’s boobs like that?
Anyway, I had it over Amanda as well.
Somehow my girlfriend must be suspicious.
Watching something for the weekend in the bedroom..
When I could have her company.
She knows doesn’t she?!

I like Fiona Bruce on the antiques show, and I’m not alone I might imagine.
For the thing I’d like to do when she’s on, I’d rather be alone however.
Talking of Fiona..
She made public in an interview that someone’s grabbed her there once.
Oh well, her own fault, wasn’t it?
Everybody knows that it wouldn’t have been that easy with a skirt!
(Although not as short as on Children in Need)

-Erm.. excuse me, but could you gimme a pad on the shoulder, I’ve already got one there..
Ha, you come across Fiona Bruce and you grab her..
I’d grab Sonali there.
Or Helen Skelton.
Talking of whom.
I’m gonna call him Peter.
So when I’m really loaded/desperate, I can call him Blue Peter.

Well.. actually it was 2 over Sonali.
Christine’s got one on Friday, so she still closes in.
Must be all them dancing clips.
With Sonali it was pure lust the tight? racing suit..
I imagined her telling the guys she ‘had to go’ and went peeing sitting on those tires!
I then realized that they would ‘just let it go’, if they’d needed to pee.
Sonali must have done that.
Either that, or she didn’t have to go.
I needed to go over her though.
Anyway, she didn’t pee sitting on them tires.
Put them there for nothing.

In to the neon sun .blogspot/ I touch myself links to my blog. (wankablecelebs.wordpress.com)

I touch myself?
To much information!
He calls me anonymous, but worse: Turkey Choker?
He also mentions the Heart and the Mind.
That made me mastur.. ahem HESITANT about even more stats, categories, makes..
Those with Passion, Sonali Gud-time, Lisa Gallagher Helen Skelton c.s., and Mind, like Sian Williams, Lizzie Greenwood-Huge..
Maybe I should type the Heart ones in red and the mind ones in grey.
Oh, and the Hard ones..?
In sock.. ?

It gets hard.
It gets harder.
The harder it gets, the harder it gets to resist.
Hard on me, hard on anyone, who gets it.
It.
Part of a guys life as periods are part of a gal’s life.
Only.. more then once a month.
More like.. daily?
You immediately are aware of it, when you wake up and notice that your battery is fully recharged..
Either that, or it’s your girlfriend, next to to ya.
She doesn’t have any bed sheets on during summer.
She hasn’t got anything on in fact.
How gorgeous.
How natural.
Ain’t she a Goddess?
She sure has a body like one.
No, my girlfriend’s not Sonali, Helen, Ana Boulter, Sarah Cawood or Helena Lundgre(e)n.
Depends on how ya define girlfriend?

He mentiones the ‘battle between his fist, heart and mind’.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, the fist is in it voluntarily, so no battle there.
He can in fact be pretty INTIMIDATING!
Using the hand brake when I’m not up to speed even, so to speak.
He forgets the most important bit, Mr. Willy.
Who gets you lust sick in the first place.
Try to make HIM all sick, by shaking him around, making him having to puke.
There, feels better already.
But to no avail, as shortly after he’s at it again.
If I wouldn’t know better, I’d think he likes getting sick..

He mentions the mind, which obviously is when you just neeeedd having it. And the heart, when you just feeeel like having it, like in passion.
Or Passion.
Like with Sonali, or PASSION, like Lisa Gallagher.
I forecast her to have a couple more this year.

Yes, I know I’m repeating myself, but with Helen on Blue Peter..
That famous band, famous in the last century mind, named ONE of their albums Blue for You.
Now, as Helen is on Blue Peter, I repeat that phrase I used earlier, somewhere on this blog:
Wankable for You.
Yes YOU!
Teens, twents, the elderly or old.
And I’m not just talking her looks!
Her appearance, her voice..
Now, there’s some top ten on WordPress.com dedicated to girls to get it up, just like that.
Helen Skelton?
Definitely.
Sonali, Christine..
Susannah (ah ah) Reid..
Laura Tobin and Lisa Gallagher are a doubt, since most of the time when I see either I just grab it.
Him?
I went over Sonali today, but Maddie sure deserved it, and I was hopeful they had her report in the repeat at 6.30.
They did.
The report on David Blaine-dead.
Wouldn’t you rather go blind wanking over Sonali?
Or Maddie for that matter.
The one on NewsRound.
I thought it’ll make you go deaf?
That’s his next stunt.

Blue Peter’s new series kicked of and in the kite report Helen assured us that she was dressed for sunshine.
Just to make certain, or we’d all think she was dressed for wanking.
She made me doubt her earlier statement though when she said to ‘get it up’.
She looked all-kite.
The she went skate-boarding.
Hope her leg’s better now.
Some knocks and bruises..
Why does Fiona come to mind now.. ?
And how tactical/professional of her to inform us that she changed into that dress to hide her bruises!
If she wanted to hide them, then why tell us about them in the first place!?
When she finished dancing I thought that we might have had a peek if she’d done that wearing a short skirt!

Now for a really bad joke.
Yours are ALWAYS bad Randy
Now, with tampons, you might get toxicated if you forget them.
What do you call it when it’s printed in the NewsPaper?
O.B.ituary.

She must have been lost.
The ten year old.
Poor ten year old, as it would turn out.
She had to pee, shortly after she got into my car.
A Ford Mustang.
Now, you can’t pee on the street, that would not be nice, would it!?
Noooo, she shook her head heavily.
We’re close to where I live, I said.
You go pee-pee in my house!?
I showed her the way, after which she climbed on the bog.
As soon as she sat on the the seat, she began to dribble.
She’d finished, except for wiping.
So I handed her 2 sheets of t.p., as she was only 10.
She declined.
I offered her a tissue.
She declined again, this time explaing that muslims aren’t allowed to wipe.

But.. I protested.
Ermm.. I kiss it dry?
Kiss?
It doesn’t hurt, she said.
Not yet, anyway.
Now, where would you live?
Well, I guess, since you’re a Muslem, I guess you’d live in Islamabad?
How insulting, it’s got the word bad in it as well.
I put her on my lap.
She moved forward.
No, no.. I protested.
It’s okay for you to sit on the bump!
It’s huugge, she.. was impressed?
I know a way to make it small..
Shortly after she would call it huuuuuge again.
Hmmm.. Yours is just tiny, I replied.

I put her on my lap again, and showed her what to do with her hands.
Now.. when something is coming out, just keep doing it for a bit..
She nodds.
Good.

You think you can do it quicker? I’m dying for a good wank.
Nodds again.
See, Now it’s gone small again.

Now, where do you live?
Glimsy..
I think you mean Grimsby..
Grimsby. That’s it.
Nice.

Once again she has to go pee-pee.
I stop, and she goes.
Next to the car as you can’t have a 10 year old go in the woods after 2300 hours!
Talking of woods..
It went ‘huge’ again.
Would you mind doing that again, to make it small again?
She didn’t.
As in: she didn’t mind.

As we are ‘on the road again’, I notice a sign.
Lakenheath.
Hmmm.
I change my mind, and don’t think of dropping her off home safely, anymore.
I bet those Americans would be just as happy with a 10 year old.
This is not home, she nearly is crying.

I explain that I don’t have a military passport.
Interested in a 10 year old muslem girl?
As Lakenheath is always interested in 10 year old girls they let me through, after pointing out where I should deliver.
At first they seemed a bit disappointed, as it was ‘just another 10 year old’, but when they find it to be a muslem girl they can’t wait to indulge.
As I get my due reward, I leave for home, just overhearing something about a d.p., spermbath, golden shower..
That’d be her, giving them..
Right?
I’m no expert on those things, like them American soldiers.

Wouldn’t they get caught?
Hmm.. just throw her over the perimeter fence and blame someone from Grimsby.
Easy as that.
Americans. Getting away with it every time.
Was hers really ‘just a bit tiny’?
No, I didn’t want to.
Those Americans are a whole bit rougher though!
Obviously they’d have to strangle her or something, ’cause a gunshot would get too much attention.
Then again, they’d cover each other.
This was Lakenheath after all.

On my way back home, I spot Maddie.
So she wasn’t killed by Kate after all!
I’d been wrong, all along.
Erm.. it was up, AGAIN!
Must have been that Kate McCann.
I make sure it IS Madeleine, and assure her I will bring her home.
It will make me less a suspect.
Or how was that..
Arguido?

I leave my reward for Kate.
Is she any good at wanking, I wonder..

Alesha Dickson wanted to commit suicide when she was even younger..
when she was as young as she looks now.
She didn’t suckseed, and this is why.
As I came in, I spotted Alesha Dickson on the couch.
Motionless.
As I checked wether she was unconscience, I spotted the sleeping pills on the table.
No, not a snooker table.
If she’d known snooker, taking an overdose would never have crossed her mind.
As I was about to take advantage of Alesha I got disgusted with myself, put it between the other lips, up there.
Hopefully she wouldn’t bite, as I slammed it down her throat.
With a bit of luck it would make her sick, and the sleeping pills would come out.
They did indeed, and Alesha came to her senses soon after.
What had happened..
You took an overdose, I told her.
Ah..
She told me everything, and how she didn’t enjoy.. stuff anymore.
There’s loads of fun stuff, I bluffed.
Like what, she wanted to know.

She went to pee, and I told her I’d be absolutely thrilled if she had me watch.
I enjoyed that, and she wiped felt happy for me.
It would be even better if you pee ON me, I told her my secret pleasure.
Up until then.
She wasn’t sure..
Sure, that was fun, she enthused afterwards.
Me even more desperate to knock it out over Alesha, after a string appeared when she was drying herself.

You know more fun things, she wanted to know.
Sex?
No no no..
Not with a guy.
She told me girls were more ‘her thing’ since she experimented with two college girls, when she was 14.
Dogs?
She couldn’t waite to try her hands on that she answered enthousiastically.
I asked her to ‘not do anything stupid’, and she promissed.
Do it for me, before you leave?
And before I knew it, it was all over her hands.
She apparently knew that was about to happen I realized, when she started licking it off.

Obviously, having found Alesha Dickson like that, I went to check on her the next day.
Her door was open.
As in unlocked.
She was pretty inviting.
As I found out when I found her again, but this time I caught her with the dog!
I thought she was having a laugh, but..
She was having a good time.
It eroused me so much..
Ah ah leesh..
She smiled at me.
It IS fun, with a dog, she was all smiles.
And the best thing is, they ’stay there’ for a while when it’s over!
I wondered how she’d know, but it soon became clear it wasn’t the dogs first time!
Well, once never is enough when it comes to, or indeed in the dogs case in, Alesha.
Three times was about it, and he went laying like dogs do, and lick himself.
That’s not for me, I thought, as mine is really small and too short to reach.
As I was staring at Alesha’s dripping pussy she giggled as in
Don’t hesitate!
I went for it, thinking that Alesha couldn’t get preggers from the dog, and the dog’s jizzzz would fight off mine, so she wouldn’t get preggers anyway.
Neither time, as I had it twice.
By now it stopped dripping and it poured out of her snatch.
I asked her if her Auntie was still in town, and she told me
Sure, that’s what spurned the dog on in the first place?
Could I have another of her tampons?
Sure, she’d keep them for me.
I’d sucked the one that was attached to that string that appeared when we shared the bath, when she dried herself, her ‘bits’ included.

Isn’t all this wrong, she started to have doubts.
No.
No fantasy is wrong most therapists would answer.
I don’t need to agree with that.
True, she agreed, showing me some pictures of her when she was 12.
Have a wank, she encouraged me.
She noticed!
Finally, after 8..
Could I have some copies?
Yes.
She made a couple extra, in case I would literally go over her pictures..

She then introduced me to her new best mate, Tracey Cocks, when I returned the next day.
I already got the impression they did not dislike each other, when I caugt them kissing..
or more to the point, tongue-wrestling.
They’d been talking about me.
Why else would Tracey offer me her tampons as well!?
Used ones only, I make sure.
Sure, I’m an expert in those things.
Oh, really?
She’d studied sexuology or something.
I’d have to waite, since it was not that time of the month, she let me know.
As it was that time of Alesha’s month, I’d still have some, I told Tracey.

Who would the dog prefer, I asked the Expert in Those kinda Things.
Probably Alesha, since dogs are faithful.
Next she’s showing me pictures of when she was 11.
I asked for some copies again, but Tracey declined.
Alesha had to go for an all-in bathroom <br>.
She invited us, me and Tracey, 2 watch her.
After she spent the penny, she didn’t take long for the number 2 and, while at it, exchanged her bloody pad for a brand new one.
Next it was Tracey’s time, who was even quicker at the number 2 than at spending the penny.
That included dripping dry though, which I couldn’t understand as she was a self-confessed Expert on those things.
Then it was my turn.
I was desperate to have a wank, but thought to have the numbers one and two first.
Why not combine, suggested Tracey.
Obviously pee first, but needn’t waite to finish the number 2 before knocking it out.
It knocked me out, alright!
I came to my senses, as Tracey was looking for any response while Alesha was peeing in my face.
That sure wouldn’t be the last time!

Shortly after I find me drinking Tracey’s pee, straight from the well.
Kissing her dry afterwards, I can’t help but slurp.

Days later Alesha is strangled by a snake, she was apparently having sex with.
Or she was toxicated by that forgotten tampon.
She’ll get washed, I think as I go all over her, sucking one of her tampons.

If you find Alesha Dickson and Tracey Cocks sound familiar, it is not a coincidence.

On this day..
Last year I started this blog.
Happy Anniversary, Randy!
Planned something Special?
Had it over Amanda Hamilton,
which was (something) planned.
Needed the commercial <br> from ITV’s The Championship.
The Wankable Celebrities Championship will be won by Christine Bleakley, most likely, shared or not with that Amazing Sonali!
ONE year on..

Yes. One year ago, I came across the Unbelievable, Amazing, Free blogging service of WordPress.com.

As they say, you find everything on the Net..
Well, NOT a Wankable Celebrities Championship.
You DO now!
Not only me!
83,000 found it, since it started.
Although some of those might be returning visitors.
They might be Celebrities!
Google-ing themselves..
Of which there is a poll on the polls page!
Great move, to put them all on the same page.
They’re getting viewed a lot more!

With the account/blog activated, there it was!
The Wankable Celebrities blog!
One year on, the 2007 Championship concluded, with me getting off a hattrick over Helen Skelton, who tied for the championship with near top wanking bird Ellie 1 more Crisell and Susannah Reid This Blog?

Believe me, I tried, it’s not easy.
Especially, privileged as I am, I get to read the search terms, as to how wankers visitors/celebs? end up on my blog.
Any celebrity mentioned on this site, added to sp^terms like nude, naked, upskirt, boobs and even the 4th most offensive wank, with wankable, wankable celebs, wankablecelebs, wanking over as variations.

83,000 now officially passed!
While on that subject:
624 was the most views, on second May.
3,300 spam in one year.
29 comments, 36 links to wankablecelebs.wordpress.com counted, 7 currently.
Since it started the Wanking List was added, later renamed a more catchy Wank Rank.
Later it was re-vamped, with the possibility to keep track of a particular celebrity by adding /#helenskelton or /#lisagallagher

A frequently unasked question is as to why keep scores about how many you’ve knocked out over/to what celebrity.
Surely nobody does that?
Oh, you DO..?!
Apart from some college girls, I’ve kept it ever since my first celebrity wank, Edele Lynch.
I’ve knocked one out over her every year since, along with Kirsten O’Brien and Louise ‘Surething’ Redknapp.

Yes, over the years I’ve undressed Louise, with me eyes, called her B*tch Edele for getting the better of me, in times when I still felt guilty about doing..that.
Something that completely disappeared when Becky Jago and Tina O’B-rien came on the scene.
Vitamin C puts a smile on yer face, Sonali makes for a Gud time, Lizzie’s ‘Wood, Liz Barker’s boots were made for walking..
Her sooo wankable moves in that play, also featuring Anna Cum.. Kumble.

Finally a BIG in Japan thanks to all you wankable celebrities, without whom this blog wouldn’t be possible.
Thanks!
And of course also a HHUUUGGEE thank you to all visitors.
Especially the returning ones.
XXX
Nikita (The girl in green from the theme)

Thank you very much, indeed.

Now, let me contest that ‘thing we all do’ statement.
Of course we DON’T all do that!!
There wood be no sex crimes if we did, would there?

Or people that keep going on about how ‘healthy’ it is.
For.. someone’s sake!
I’m just curious as to what Lisa Gallagher looks like in her nudy outfit!
I’m curious what she looks like in the dark..
I’d only do that when she’s got clothes on.
I think..
Lisa Gallagher, DO YOU DARE?
She’d better touch wood..
I want to touch that myself thank you very much!
Honestly, only when she’s got clothes on.
Have I ever gone over her when she was nude?
Have you seen her nude though? ..!

It strikes me..
Yes, you and the strike element..

I find it nothing short of disturbing Shocking the way that sex crimes are apparently more acceptable to society than wanking..
Sorry, masturbating.

Wanking is apparently the 4th most offensive word in the UK.
And teen pregnancies..
Of course they have sex.
Wanking makes ya go..
Have you switched off the lights?

Now.. Why does Fiona Luv Bruce know nothing about masturbation?
Masturbation is NOT a crime!!
Sigh.. you mentioned that in the brain teasers post, Randy..

Isobel Lang on, now.
Close up, please!

Not only are sex crimes apparently more acceptable than.. knocking it out?, but it’s also the girls fault!
Now girls, take it from me.
If you were wearing a short skirt and bent over, in the process having me find out that ALWAYS isn’t as invisible as they say..
That’s Libresse, Randy..
..it might be your fault that I get a little eroused..
I might even take it further.
But not without your consent..
Oh really? So before you knock it out over a girl you ask her if it’s..
Ermm.. That’s why I do it over celebrities.
You don’t have to ask celebrities.
They’re intended for that purpose.

The article mentions a ‘battle between his heart, mind and fist.’
Now, my fist actually volunteers!
It goes: Randy..?
Something like that.
Now, the heart / mind bit is interesting.
If the heart is passion, I might try just that bit.. heart-er? over Sonali, Lisa..
Christine?

The mind is perhaps more like ‘I NEED IT! AND I NEED IT NOWW!!’
Where the heart might go a bit..
Well, I don’t really need it, but..
That’s probably the reason I have it for Sonali so much?
Cause she’s not in me mind but in me..
Ahem, yeah.. and we know how she ended up there.. ?

Now.. the post was published on september 11, and you what that means now, don’t ya?
She’s in me heart.
If it’d work that way.. how did she get in there then?

Now, if you’ll excuse me.
I might gonna..
Touch Wood?