March 2009
Anita Rani 7
Amanda Hamilton 5
Sign Girl 4
Helen Skelton 4
Christine Bleakley 3
The Saturdays 2
Maddy Savage 2
Susannah Reid 2
Wendy Hurréll 2
Selena Gomez 1
Laura Tobin 1
Michaela Strachan 1
Jenni Falconer 1
Hannah Moffat 1
Thalia Pellegrini 1
Liesbeth Staats 1
Riz Lateef 1
Victoria Hollins 1
Claudia Winklemann 1
Fiona Bruce 1
Ellie Crisell 1
Alice (newsreader) 1
Kate Silverton 1
Kate Allen 1
Gemma Hunt 1
Sonali Gudka 1
Sarah Jayne Mee 1
Sophie McDonnell 1
Michaela Tabb 1

Okay, some numbers:
This is post #500
There’s 2 (tied) TWB’s
They’re both on 93(-ish)
There’s ever been about 8 TWB’s
The first 1 being a college girl
There’s 3 birds that got it knocked
out over every year since 1997:
Kirsten O’Brien, Edele Lynch and Louise
“Surething” Redknapp
If I’d only had the patience to waite a
couple years it’d have included
Girls Awesome, Christine Bleakley,
Lisa Gallagher, Laura Jones, Sonali Gudka,
Hannah Moffatt, Tina O’Brien amongst others.

There’s about 11 birds definitely
too low on the wank-rank.
Laura Jones 33, Gemma Hunt 19, Ana Boulter 18
Mohini Sule 17, Nathalie Imbruglia 14, Susie Amy 11
That sign girl 8(?), Rachel Horne 11, Laura Tobin 7
Julie Etchingham 3 (insult!), Isobel Lang 35, Jakki(ng) Degg 31..

The 1 girl missing from the rank is Sally Anne
IcantdoitbecauseofthewayIgottoknowabouther.
(I could cheat and say I knew her (from) before)

There’s 1 birdtch that shouldn’t be
on the wank-rank, C*** McCann.
Oh, Kate’s with a K, is it.

Now, Christine?
You’re only ONE behind.
And there’s only ONE behind like yours.
Yours.

Now, there’s only 1 thing left for me
to do.
Check the forecast of me ONE favourite
weatherbi.. girls.

I think they have a
WordPress.com for that.
G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S?!!
She was sooooo..
worthy my savings? tonight.
She looked like a cow-girl!
Or a bit Australian?
If it wasn’t for Michaela Tabb
she c^would have had a hattrick.

Then I caught Edele and her family on
Family Fortunes.
Having her yer sis you’d b
v fortunate indeed!
And Keavy.
Then there was Thalia Pellegrini briefly.
Can I have the saddle pleeaasse?!

I have now put the second round poll
where the draw was.
polldaddy/wankycelebs
I’ve made ONE poll only, with the ties
indicated by vs.
No, not valley sports.
very sexy…?

There’s some delay with the
Knock-Out Cup.
I first need to delete all
the old ‘ties’.
Maybe I make them clickable.
koc09 and then name.
But, as the second round draw
was made (excel again) I might
as well put them on the site.

Someone might have voted for
Kimberly Walsh a lot! in the
Top Wanking Birds Top 1,000, in
the Cup she lost 3 nil to Hayden
Panetierre.
Missing Kate McCann lost
to that german läass
Evelin Koenig.
Kicki Berg beat Gadget Girl Seema
Parmar.
Little bit of cup shock?
Talking of which, Ronni Ancona
beat Anita Rani!!
I might vote for her tomorrow/Monday.
She could win the March ‘09 tally-rank!
Lizzie Green^wood-Hughes just
unlucky to be Brawn drawn
against Julie Etched-it-ham.
According to seasonoftheweirdo(666?)
a sicko voted for Selena Gorgeousmez.
Leah had a mini victory over Kate Goody.
Which can’t be said about Tina O’Brien.
Tina O’5 more like, except Helena getting
off – it on 1 vote.
Probably from the guy at jjshoompeetsj.wordpress.com
.
Portu-gall Nelly Furtado knocking Sarah Cawood out!
Hannah Spearritt winning 1-0.
She’s in Primeval on ITV!!
So that’s where all the
other votes went…
Miss Sanderson wasn’t exactly
lynched but didn’t Nik it.
Laura Tobin dumping that Lizzie
Taboo girl.
Sonali beat Riz, just.
The Battle of the Scots won by
Hazel Irvin.

Anne Foy 2 Holly Willoughby 1

Maddy Savage 1 Michaela Strachan 1

Hayden Panettiere 3 Kimberly Walsh 0

Alicia Keys 1 Susie Amy 1

Mohini Sule 2 Ulrika Ericsson 0

Zoë Wanamaker 1 Emma Ledden 1

Vitamin C 1 Donna Lewis 1

Kirsten O’Brien 2 Louise Minchin 0

Lesley Kay 0 Louise Lear 2

Alyssa Milano 1 Heidi Range 1

Ellie Harrison 2 Mel Appleby 0

Naomi Wilkinson 1 Konnie Huq 2

Kate McCann 0 Evelin Koenig 1

Susannah Reid 1 Vanessa Mae 1

Angela Schijf 1 Sinead Quinn 0

Kicki Berg 1 Seema Parmar 0

Kim Appleby 1 Tempest Bledsoe 0

Sara Cox 0 Lisa Gallagher 1

Ronni Ancona 1 Anita Rani 0

Sally Gray 0 Ilka Essmueller 1

Lieke v Lexmond 0 Maureen Flannigan 1

Isobel Lang 1 Princess Victoria/Sweden 1

Lily Allen 1 Sophie Ellis-Bextor 1

Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes 0 Julie Etchingham 1

Selena Gomez 1 Holly Walsh 0

Gwen Stefani 0 Jo O’Meara 2

Liz Fraser 1 Nicola Bleakley 2

Helen Skelton 1 Jelena Dokic 0

Fearne Cotton 1 Sophie MmmmmcDonnell 0

Leah Remini 1 Kate Goody 0

Keisha Buchanan 0 Aaliyah 1

Helena Lundgreen 1 Tina O’Brien 5

Zoë Salmon 1 Rani Price 1

Sarah Harding 0 Christina Applegate 1

Alexandra Chando 1 Avril Lavigne 1

Cindy Crawford 1 Alesha Dixon 0

Christina Milian 1 Abbie Eastwood 1

Nelly Furtado 1 Sarah Cawood 0

Caroline Flack 2 Zoë Ball 1

Angela Neill 1 Gemma Hunt 1

Esther Schweins 0 Marie Wilson 1

Pernille La Lau 0 Becky Jago 1

Hannah Spearritt 1 Christie Brinkley 0

Nikki Sanderson 0 Edele Lynch 1

Brooke Shields 0 Amy McDonald 1

Laura Tobin 1 Lizzy Taboo 0

Rachel Stevens 1 Laura Jones 0

Riz Lateef 0 Sonali Gudka 1

Georgina Leonidas 1 Jennifer Ellison 0

Jennie Garth 1 Daphne Bunskoek 1

Liesbeth Staats 0 Fiona Bruce 1

Michaela Tabb 1 Nicola Roberts 1

Nadine Coyle 1 Amelle Bullebah 0

Kate Heavenor 0 Hazel Irvin 1

Christine Bleakley 1 Tina Barrett 0

Carol Kirkwood 1 Kate Sanderson 1

Emma Watson 0 Tiffani Thiessen 1

Amanda Hamilton 2 Korsós Anita 0

Ellie Crisell 1 Ana Boulter 0

Anniko v Santen 0 Cheryl Tweedy 1

Allesandra Ambrosio 0 Holly Valance 1

Jayne Middlemiss 2 Nigella Lawson 1

Maria Sharapova 2 Jakki Degg 1

Renée Props 0 Vanessa Hudgens 2

BREAKING NEWS

Sarah-Jayne Mee gets point
on the board!
And rumour has it it won’t be
her last!
Congrats from all @ Sky News,
S-Jay, WHICH RANDY AND ALL YOUR
VISITORS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL
HER!!!!!

(There’s speculation that.. it’s
the same colour all-over, but @
this point, lets be cautious!)

There’s times when you don’t have
a chance, like Wendy Hurrèll or Sonali
today, or when you hesitate ( for
timing purposes) and yer chance’s gone.
So, sadly, is Jade.
I saw a couple of pics of her in OK.
Just the thing I need.
It says OK on the cover.
Somehow, I couldn’t do it.
For those of you who would, make sure
you donate a bit to a cancer charity..
It’s strange really.
I wouldn’t have such hesitation/an issue
having a wank over Marilyn Monroe!
(Or Aaliyah?)

Anyway, THANKX, Sarah-Jayne/Miss Mee.
Now..
SJM: A study has learned that..
Hang on, I can’t say that!
Someone else: You have to.
You read the news!
SJM: ahem..
A study has found that wankers
suffer from memory-loss more often
than not-wankers.
(Wherever they may be)

Mee: The reason for this
being that wankers of course don’t use a
Top Wanking Birds’ surname.
Though they might give ‘em nicknames!
Mee again: Ya don’t go like
Ooh.. oooh.. Liz-Z Greenwood-Hughes
It doesn’t even last that long!
She’s hot!
Just mentioning her name..

*Yes.. Mee and the strike element..

PS:Something went wrong on the Knock Out Cup.

Someone found my blog with
the search -
I wanked over you .com
-or something alike.
Now, for just another
top ten..
Top 10 alternative names
for this blog:
1 knockingitout.wordpress.com
2 thewankerer.wordpress.com
3 thesockexchange.wordpress.com
4 iwankedoveryou.wordpress.com
5 wankabe.wordpress.com
6 willysdiary.wordpress.com
7 twb.wordpress.com
8 randy.wordpress.com
9 elliecrisellsonaligudkachristinebleakley
susannahreidlisagallagherlouiselearedelelynch
carolkirkwoodthatparticularsigngirlthatimrefering2
tinaobrienkirstenobrienanitaraniranipricenikkisanderson
fionabrucechanellewalshamlewillowssarahcawoodgirlsaloud
sugababesliesbethstaatsalexandrachandohannahmoffat
helenskeltonmaddysavageamongstothers.wordpress.com
10 change.wordpress.com

Someone else searched for -
“fiona bruce” “wank”
-
It got me puzzled as to why wank was between quotation-marks.
Okay.. I’m searching for something to do
with fiona bruce and wank.
Well, not a real wank.
Sort of.
Like..
WHAT? Like in a load of wank?
Nooo.. Fiona Bruce is top wanking material.
She does her age group proud

Sonali looked absolutely *G*O*R*G*E*O*U*S*
yesterday.
yes, she’s back.
Were those birds?

I thought this morning I might as well
sin over Kate Silverton.
Thanks.
She convinded/tricked me into it by the way
she sat.
“They” once commented on a picture of Madonna
-Well, at least it’s wipe-clean..

With Christine in gold.. -ish
How about sharing the Bath Christine?
Now.. Obviously you’ve sat while peeing,
hoovered..
Maybe you’ve even tried it while standing?
Have you ever considered peeing while laying?
Leave the bath, me!?
Why..?

I didn’t find out until
this morning about Jade.
Jade Goody, 1981-2009 too soon.
She wanted to be remembered as a
top wanking mouthy bird(, who fought to the end).
Okay, let me read yours then Jadey..
WHAT?!
Sure ya do.
Show me.
Mouthy Bird: Look, jus’ because I’m on
BB doesn’t mean anyone gets to watch me
on the bog.
Me: Okay, just call me, when you’re nearly
finished.
Or just bring the T-P with ya!

Okay.. I see something with a good Father
Erm… I’m not a religious person..
Mmmm.. maybe it’s father then..
Now, I also something to do with jack..
Yeah well, you better start or I’ll never be on
yer rank!
I think you’ll find that(’s) Jack!

Jade Goody not on my rank?
What the *€&œ£?

BTW… 27, Is that young?
Goodbye Jade