Wankesday fixture Gemma Hunt
added another point to the
tally, doing her more & more
justice.
Another new name on the list,
Jaqueline Caston.
I thought she looked a bit like
Ellie Crisell, that DIY expert.
Strangely her name badge? said Jack!
Just in case I wouldn’t get the DIY
part. (?)
Maybe because she is a Jack Off All Trades?
She might have got 2, but with the fixture
Gemma Hunt coming up..
Which I’m sure she’ll understand as an
DIY expert.
-Hello, can I help you sir?
–Erm.. no..
On second thoughts:
Would you pose?
Cause that would certainly help!
The ‘ as in ’cause were sold out
at unibond henkel
the time time of writing that.
I’ll try and use a couple more o’
those, ’cause they sold ‘em for
a dozen per penny.
(No wonder they sold out! (ahem)
(The (’s & )’s were a penny a piece
by the way))
(The & was actually 5p!)
(The wan.. working socks were £1.50
per pair.
Really cheap, if you consider the second
one must be free!
Buy 1 get off 1 free!)
I wonder if you get a picture of
Jaqueline Caston with that as well!)

The day kicked off with Keeley Don-a-wank
& Leah Gooding, who I, really, need to
give a compliment.
Thanks!
Unfortunately that is Katherine Carpenter
looking as if she slept really well, in a
red top.
It’s getting harder and harder with all these
wankable celebriteases!
(Rachel twice missed out this week alone!)
For those of you thinking handjobs are
fun, think again!
I must be living proof of Tracey Cox’s
assumption/guess* that the more you do it, the
the more the body wants it.
* She can’t know from experience, she’s a
girl!

The dots are 1,000/£ but the ¹’s
were sold out, hence the *
(2p a piece)

Another double.
Christine Bleakley &
Amanda Holden.
The latter gave me the thumps up!
Christine being 2 ahead
of Sonali, but with the
SonaBabes thingy she’ll catch
up in no time!
I’m hoping for a hattrick.
Caught NewsRound this morning btw,
with Sonali.
One final thing about lass friday.
Had I to do it again I would’ve gone
over them NR girls babes
6 times.
They would have reach 21 million easily.. NOT!!!

Next stop: NewsRound/SupaBabes on Wankesday.
Thankxxx in advance.

The sweetest thing, or rather
Top Wanking Bird Christina Applegate
topping the ranks at the TWB Top 1,000
@ Mr Poll.

Just updated the wank-rank as well, with
Ellie Crisell adding her 1 hundred and 8tee.
Last week, as a minor issue, she said
that word a bit too easy.
Yes, you’ve guessed it, the word I always
replace with sex-crimes.
Kate Sanderson referring to it as
serious crime against women, I think.
Yes, that was on NewsRound but still..

Having had an e-mail today confirming that
my poll was to be included in the directory.
Nice!
The TopWankingBird Top 1,000 made possible by
Mr Poll.
www.misterpoll.com.

The reason I was looking forward to that NewsRound
Treble, SugaBabes/CiN was I had some old trousers.
Now.. What do you think guys do when they have old
trousers, ready for the trash-bin?
Ellie, any idea?
It’s just the thrill, of course.
Next time it’s socks again.

Imagine – Starting wanking over Ellie Crisell
only to realize.. No sock!
Am I gonna do it in my pants?
Looking at her, she’d be smiling,
as she sees your dilemma.

On the subject -
The Medellin tease on YouTube
where this older guy knocks it
out over her.
It kinda.. romances things.
So much better than those sex-crimes.
Interesting to see how easy, as if an
everyday word, Ellie would say
‘wanking’.
A survey has learnt that most people find
it embarrasing to knock, as do most
people find it embarrasing when there’s
knocked on their doors.
They probably know why they knock in the first
place, and others know why there’s being
knocked on their doors.
Most rather get caught.
Say.. Are you doing it now!?
Yes, Ellie.
And thanks for the warning -
90 second update.
I quickened up a bit.

The NewsRound treble perhaps
making a shambles of my timing.
I needed to be ready for that,
going over the two presenters,
Tess & Aleesh.
Daly?
Perhaps.
I didn’t miss.. what’s her name..?
Too busy having a gang-bang?
Them, wanting to know if she was
only boasting.
Apparently not.
Well, I wasn’t interested.
How much they each gave, in terms
of money, unknown.
Personally I thought 20 million quid
would be a huuuuuuugge success, but
apparently the Beeb aimed at 21 million.
So, thank you from me to everyone donating,
as 20 million was always going to be
more realistic.
The BBC must have thought that more people
would be able to watch since it wasn’t
on the same night as domino day.
The BBC have now apparently admitted that
the heaven sent gift of SugaRoundBabes
was never going to be shown below
21 million.
I’ve recorded that bit though, so ha -
10 pound a piece, times 3 = 30 plus
bonus for every minute under 10 minutes?
There are even people who – yes! -
apparently complained as it being to sexy
for their chil.. teen sons!
Have they complained about the porn they
show on Sky News?
Don’t you think teen-age son sounds like
liasion?
That is probably written incorr ectly.
Sorry, typo.
Yes, I could have, but it would have
been too predictable.

Taylor Swift was good.
She’ll go far.
SugaBabes are not the same since seeing NR..
since Keisha Buchananal left.
I nearly went over Heidi though, but nearly is
nearly close enough.
Sorry Heidi, girl next door.

Christine in red, I think, like Patsy
Palmer & Tess Daly.
A red treble.
Nothing like Defoe today though.
Brace & Hatrick.
Aleesh was also wearing red somewhere during
Children in Need, but she changed 4 times,
if I counted that correctl y.
Surprised you there, didn’t I!?
Please note that other members of the
one SHOW and E Enders team/performers
might have been involved in the action, as
they don’t say – For you wankers we put it
on pause now.
Which in that SoHayLeah-Babes thingy would
have been a very bad idea!
They gonna turn round, round baby..
I thought I’d try something different
for Children in Need and wrote those 2 posts,
which I said I deleted.
That is now undone, and they are restored.
Especially the Licky Allen one.
No short skirt for Fiona Bruce this time.
Must have become antique!
She wouldn’t have fit in with a skort shirt anyway.

Top 10 Children in Need 2010 -
1 NudeRound calendar
2 BBC NUDES 24 – 2 4 every month
3 Period calendar – Which celeb is
on her period when
4 The Wankers FC vs Wankable Celebs XI
including Naga ‘Bayern’ Munchetti
5 Celebrity Toilet Zone
Which Celeb has that X Factor?
6 Bird Nest watching
Which Bird Nest belongs to which Celeb?
7 Wank of the Day
Unfortunately, Lizzie G-H is on after that,
on the FL-Show
(Did I imagine it, or were her boobs really
that present yesterday?)
8 HARDtalk
Can celebrities talk it up?
(Anita Rani: I’ll help that down, if it
goes up!)
9 Five Live
Can a seasoned wanker manage 5, live on
Children in Need?
(Tess Daly, Taylor Swift, Lucy Very-easy,
Anna Kumblé, Selena Gomez (who will be 18 by then,
seasonofthecharities)
10 Blue Peter
Does Peter’s underwear turn Blue?
Apparently Helen will do a bit more than
just pose if it does.
Now, that’s one she didn’t have to prepare
earlier!
She’d have to help it down though.
She promissed.

On friday reaching the mile-stone
round number of 700 post.
Not a succes, those last 2 posts
deleted.
Realizing I have just missed Blue Peter.
Missed that NewsRound bit on CiN, or it
wasn’t on.
So NOT embarrasing.

So I spent most of yesterday in bed yet again.
In the process missing another milestone,
100,000 views for the year.

Children in Need, and I might have gone
over Riz Lateef.
Taylor Swift was amazing.
So was Christine’s singing.
How did she ever become a presenter?

Fcuk!
Fcuk me, she replied.
Fcuk you.. ?
Yes..
Is that an.. in-vitation?
I had just caught Lily Allen
on the loo.
I suspected her to wipe her sn*tch,
as she tore off some toil.. sand-paper.
Mmmmm, she went, I don’t think I’m
on the rag, so it must be that sh*tt*
sand paper.
Which kinda was fitting, since her face
went like when I’d have when I spill my
l*ad.
Except she was a girl.
Hmmmm.. she must be taking a d*mp,
I thought.
She wiped with the same piece she’d
wipe her *pen w*und.
Which it seemed to be now anyway, due to
the SANDPAPER!!!
My Johnson by now half as hard as what
she just dumped.
As she turned around, to flush, I could
check out her backside.
She looked back over her shoulder
and asked -
Are ya still gonna take me?
Oh, but.. She took a rubber thingy
out of her pocket -
Safe or NOT!
Sure, safe!
As I was helping Johnson to see if
he fitted in his new costume, she
smiled while concluding -
There was no need to pull up my
panties!
As ready as I ever would be I tried
to be funny and that there had been no
need to wipe either.
Since… ? she enquired.
Oh yeah, I forgot.
F*replay.
I thought she had gone dutch,
judging by where her hand was, but
apparently she expected to enter
by the b*ckd**r.
Who doesn’t appreciate the small gifts..
Small?
This was huge to me!
Better not tell her, as it may imply that
I’d get access to her safe later.
Needless to say I grabbed her t*ts
when I..
And, hey presto..
Her c*nt now really wet, like a nirvan
moist vagina.
W*lly felt really fragile, breakable,
but there was nothing to worry about
as he was covered in bubble-wrap.
As I grabbed her t*ts once again she
knew -
Game Over
About that song..
Fcuk you.
What did she think of wankers?
Yeah, they all wanked, didn’t they, when
they could as well b*ne her.
It’s just not fair, she sighed, adding -
You’ll have a great memory now,
have you not?
I sure had!

So, there I was.
Planning a wank for that evening,
only to find this other girl we shared
the studio with nude, covered by her
huge teddy collection.
I planned a wank, that evening.
It came early.

Saving for Children in Need,
hence the difficulty this morning.
Emma Crosby..
She was recently in a magazine.
Lisa Gallagher, unexpected, but
she got the better of me.
Thanks Lisa.
They’re not this good usually, when
this loaded, and the timing needs to
be good.
So I am glad she did get the better
of me.
Early still, but my aim would be
Lily Allen and a NewsRound Treble.
They showed a bit on NR this morning,
I think.

Yesterday the poopascooter report and
Sonali saying something like that it
looks not nice or something.
Gross in fact.
Has she never.. ?
Hers looks probably not like that.
You know, from that post beat it b-j,
that I shared a flat with her.
My dream!
As I thought I’d go for a wank over
Jammi Degg, as her calendar was still
on the wall, I..
She must have forgotten to flush, I thought.
What?
Tear of some T-P?
No, I’m gonna study that first!
Pretty dry on top, so she probably
peed first.
All nicely in one piece though.
Very dark though, as you’d expect
from someone eating looaaadds of
dark chocolate.
I only ate the white.

Oh yes.. Jakki.
The reason I came in here for in
the first place.
Fittingly Jakki was posing on some
kind of toilet, at least that’s what it
suggested with her pants down.

Okay.. So I knocked one
out over Susannah Reid this
morning.
Maybe I was trying to right
the wrong for not going more
often over her this week.
Yesterday Leah mention something
about – In his socks!
One could find that suggestive,
a Good advice..
Maybe both.
I mean, this is the BBC we’re talking
about!
They’ve got HARDtalk and they’re situated
in..
Wood Lane!
Morning W**d and the like.
If you help all them down, you’re giving
it the works.
No more than 1! remember, tomorrow morning, if
you’re watching Children in Need.
Me, so loaded..
There must be a word for that, when I
wanted to emphisize the BBC, by writing
it in CAPS but it IS already written like
that.

Now, Sonali.. or rather NewsRound had a question
about ‘how you sleep’.
Sonali however asked -
We wanna know how you guys sleep!
?
!!!
She specificly wanted to know about guys.
Did she?
Knocking one out apparently helps.
Don’t try it tonight though, as Children in
Need is tomorrow.
Just around the corner, Sonali said and I
thought -
Just around the corner?
Tomorrow evening!
That can be a long time, when you’re not
having it!

The repeat of that NewsRoundSpecial,
which I tried to record with my mobile.
Erm..
I still like that Gemma Hunt scene.
She was bullied?
Sure wasn’t guys. Too busy memorizing her.
They just look at her now.

Leah popped up in the CBBC studio.
I could do with a wax in certain areas.
Which makes for a great line (?)
Wax me up (before you go-go)

I learned it over Ellie Crisell
and I knew -
This won’t be the lass time.

I learned it over Ellie Crisell
and I thought -
This could be a pastime!

I knocked it out repeti-ti-tively
over Ace of Base.
That was a cool summer!

Christine’s the ONE for quite a while now.

I just neeeeded someone to pose for me.
Donna Lewis suggested -
I could be the one.
So right, Donna.
I lust for you, always, for ever.

Lisa Stansfield is a TWB.
Believe me, I should know.
I’ve been all around the world
and ah ah..

Michael Jackson knocked it out over
a PYT.
(Sonali?)

Ms Lateef.
Ir-Riz-istable.

So many times I knocked it out over
that GA DVD Video.
Got sweaty as well.
That was a looooooong hot summer!

Knocking it out over Ana Boulter
When I really, wanna hold her

The thing about Becky, ya know
It’s so ea.. ooops, there Ja-go

Vanessa Hudgens.
Who needs V-agra?!
© 2009 wankablecelebs.wordpress.com
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

V-agra Hudgens.

Becky Jago, and I was putting a lot of
effor t in.
Finall y they were out and about.

Paula Abdul on VH-1 and it came straight up.

Yazz: The only way is up.
No need to help it down then.

From Donna Lewis’ album Ragtime?
I l’oeuf you.
ALLWAYS.
Forever.

Donna Lewis in a commercial.
ALLWAYS, forever.

Donna Lewis’ contradiction.
ALLWAYS forever.
Forgetting that ALLWAYS
is for some times.
(memyselfandplentyofothers.wordpress.com)

Tiffany: I think I’m aaahh-lone now..

Michaela Tabb having had tooooooo many drinks,
asking the players:
Can I have a break now, please!?
(The please did it!)

Coming back from her mini-break,
one of the players asks if she cleaned
the pink.
(Foul language!)
(Or innuendo)

I backed Becky*’s backside to win rear of the year.
* I’d rather lay her.**
** But not seriously, as she has Pablo
and other reasons.

Edele L*nch has put a spell on me.
I can’t stop wanking over her.
B*witched

It is not up to Sam Brown to tell me
when to stop!!
(Was that about betting?)

Leah from NewsRound.
Good on me.

Managed only 1 over Sonali all week
(BBC NEWSRound).
Pretty bad eh!?

Wanky match?
Sockport County v Wecome Wankerers.

TV Special – Harry Webb Cliff Richard
@ home.
The interview-her needing the lavatory.
She’d love it, with there even being a roll of
pink T-P.
Lucky l..

I had a date with a Japanese tennis-player.
She was called Kimiko.
Now, who needs a surname?

(the late) Aaliyah suggested – Stroke it for me..
which I actually was already doing.
Anyways, before I could ask Why?
it had become strike.
I now do it for myself.
(Ah ah aaliy aaahh)

Aaliyah asked suggested – Stroke it for me.
I do it for myself ever since!

Marie Fredrikkson, Roxette,
It must have been love.
It’s lust now.

So that’s Susannah Reid?
Wright.

Any short-cutts to a (Good) wank?
Leah.
Sonali.
Hayley..
In short: NewsRound.

Nothing compares to Sinead O’Connor.
But the Emperor came close.

CiN always seems to be so wankable/wanky.
Who Masturminds it?
(Can I have your handjob?)

Kate McIntyre bears all!

Kirsten O’Brien saw an old sock and
said that you never know when that might come
in handy.
I didn’t have a clue and kept looking at her,
if she was gonna answer that.
I found it (out) myself.

I’m cool with you celebrities getting the
compliment(s).
I have the ©opyright.
(wank-rank)

I always wondered why Kate Heavenor insisted on
those (very) short skirts.
It then got a physical reaction..
Eureka!

Olivia Newton-John.
It got physical.

Emma Forbes sure makes the TWB 500?!

S Club – Don’t stop moving?
I can’t!

Alice Bhandhukravi.

No.
Guess again?
Going Down?
Going down indeed but..
How did she know?
It was hard today.
A hard choice that is!
Rachel in red, Amanda Lamb next
to Susie Dent and a hot contestant
on top of that.
Then a pleasant up-rise.. surprise
with Leah on the News Round about 4.
She said she’d be on at 5.
She introduced herself and said
nice to see you?
Likewise Leah.
She’s hot.
She said – in his socks.
Good advice that.
Something to do with a rugby? player.
I went when she was standing -
Thought I might have waited when they
showed her sitting there, from the side.
Helen missed out, but I sure hope to catch
the repeat on Sunday.
And not to see her eat dog-food!
I just wasn’t gonna miss this Son..
golden opportunity to go over
Leah Gooding.
And of course, quite ready, to go over
Gemma as well.
I might go over Sonali while writing this
post if she’ll be on in a moment, then try
determined to not go again until Children in
Need this Friday.
Apart from Fearne* not presenting it, the other
thing about Children in Need this year it is not
on Domino-Day.
ahem// ..
Yeah, had to get that URL, in case you read
this post before.
Gabby (do) Logan getting a point in
the process.

* Tess & Aleesh